Perhaps Fate
by wildcatt
Summary: Ten years after they part, Tenten and Neji find themselves on opposite sides of the final battle between Leaf and Sound.
1. Meeting

**Chapter 1: Meeting **

She could still smell the blood on her hands, heavy and metallic like copper. Perhaps it was guilt, or perhaps it was merely a reflection of the rich velvet draped around her on the couch; either way her hands seemed to be stained a dull red under the warm, soft light of the lamp flickering on the windowsill by her side. She shoved her palms under the fabric and closed her eyes.

It was supposed to be easy: kill the Leaf kunoichi who had been masquerading as a prostitute at the Yamagachi brothel; take her place in the rendezvous where she was about to pass on vital information to the Konohan spy; kill said spy. Two quick assassinations, and then she would be done.

Tenten had long ceased to regard herself as part of the Leaf shinobi, yet she had found a surprising heaviness in her heart as she stabbed the kunoichi through the ribs with three senbon, blood spurting out from the tiny punctures and running wetly down her wrist. She was only a young girl, not anyone she had known in the days when she still lived in Konoha (Tenten wondered if she could still have done it if it had been say, Sakura, or Ino, and immediately wiped the thought from her mind. Brutally, like two fingers pinching out a flame). She had left the corpse in a back alley, letting the stray dogs finish the job before wiping the blood off and changing into the provocative clothing worn by the Yamagachi prostitutes and walking nonchalantly into the brothel. No one had stopped her.

Now it was ten minutes to midnight and the spy had yet to appear. Tenten picked listlessly at her corset, smoothing out the rumpled black silk to check if the hidden dagger was securely in place. The spy had hired one of the nicer rooms in the brothel. It was small and simply furnished: a large, soft bed with surprisingly clean sheets, dark red curtains hanging heavily in front of the small window and a low couch where she now lay, sprawled out amidst swathes of crimson fabric with her back to the entrance.

A faint creaking as the door was opened cautiously; Tenten's head lifted warily but otherwise she remained still, keeping her face hidden from view.

"The phoenix flies." His voice was low and smooth. Unexpectedly she felt a faint, bittersweet pang when she heard him speak, a vague sense of recollection unfurling from the graying memories she had long suppressed. Had she known this man from before? She hoped not. It would just make things that much more difficult. She could tell that he was still lingering outside in the corridor, probably hiding himself behind the blinds that separated the doorway from the rest of the room. Tenten smiled humorlessly.

"To where the Sun rises." She had choked the password out of the poor little kunoichi too easily. It was a sign of how truly desperate the situation was becoming for Tsunade to be sending out relatively inexperienced girls to work undercover; Tenten supposed the rest of her shinobi were already spread thin across the borders and around Konoha, what with the looming threat of attack from Orochimaru. "You're late." She pitched her voice lower than normal and it came out husky, seductive. It wouldn't do for the man to recognize her before he was close enough to kill, if indeed they had once known each other. He didn't reply, merely brushing the blinds away as he stepped forwards into the room.

Tenten finally turned to face the shinobi and the world shattered for the second time in her life.

It was unmistakably him. The long, raven black hair swept into a low ponytail down his back, the firm chin, the pale eyes widened in shock -

_"...Neji?"_

He stared at her, his face (so painfully familiar. Tenten instinctively ran her gaze over every aristocratic angle, every smooth expanse of pale skin, and committed it to memory for when she would be gone again) betraying only the faintest traces of surprise even as his hands clenched by his sides. He stepped forwards hesitantly, one hand lifting up as if to reach out for her. He paused and let it drop back down by his side.

"Tenten?" he called out, voice strained and unexpectedly hoarse.

In an instant she had jerked onto her knees, paper thin fabric whipping around her thighs as she frantically brushed away the heavy curtains and threw open the windows, cool night air rushing in and lifting stray strands of hair from her face. The lamp was knocked roughly to the side as she scrambled to slip herself through, fingers splayed flat against the glass. She could hear him coming up from behind, hurried footsteps muffled on the carpet.

"_Wait_ – Tenten – "

She managed to throw one leg over, knee scraping against the metal panes. It would bleed later but damn it, she was past caring and she had to get away _now_ before-

"Don't leave!" he ordered, harshly, and she started because she could feel his breath, hot against her ear.

Strong fingers curled around her elbow and tugged down roughly. She gasped, tumbling into the soft velvet before he had her pinned down, calloused palms pressed hard against her bare shoulders. She twisted on her back, knee jerking up to kick him away but he slid his leg over both of hers, holding her against the couch with his weight. He leaned down, his gaze never leaving her face, and Tenten was shocked to see the sudden, bitter anger in his eyes. She stubbornly turned her cheek away but he twisted her harshly, forcing her to look back up at him.

"Seven years, gone without a trace. Seven fucking _years_, Tenten," he hissed. "Where the hell have you been all this time? What are you doing here?"

"Neji – let me _go_ – please –" She managed to slip one hand across her chest, fingers threading deftly below the silk. The dagger was out in an instant, steel blade gleaming rosily from the flickering light. "Don't make me do this."

"Answer me!" he demanded coldly, shaking her roughly even as she reached out, dagger clasped in her trembling hand, swiping it across his chest. He was wearing civilian clothing as befitting his disguise as a customer at the brothel. The crisp grey shirt was easily cut open, exposing a thin slice of pale skin; she hadn't really meant to injure him, only desperately wanting to warn him away. The blade barely scratched his chest. He ignored the dagger. "Why did you leave without telling me?"

"Neji..."

"Do you know how worried Lee was when you were declared a missing-nin?" His grip on her shoulders tightened. "What happened?"

"_Let me go_." Tenten bit her lip and traced her knife sharply across his chest, up to the nape of his neck. "I don't want to talk to you!"

He froze momentarily, exhaling softly. "Tenten –"

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "Get away from me," she bit out scathingly.

His hold on her slackened and he shifted off her abruptly, as if stung. Tenten immediately curled up onto her knees, one hand pressed against her chest as she struggled to catch her breath, eyes fixed resolutely on the couch. The room was suddenly suffocatingly quiet and the sound of their harsh breathing was unbearably loud. She could feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes and she tilted her head back, willing them not to spill out even as she scrambled once more onto her feet.

He was sitting stiffly at the other end of the couch, watching her intently. She hadn't even threaded an arm through the window before he spoke again, voice suddenly quiet, impassive.

"It was because of Anko, wasn't it?"

She stiffened, but did not reply. The night air was cool against her skin yet she was burning, her heart beating uncontrollably fast; something was tearing at her from the inside, wrenching her thoughts into incoherent, twisted trails of grief and confusion. Instinctively she pushed forwards, her whole body mindlessly focused on just getting herself out of the window and away from him.

"She had to die, you know that."

_Suddenly Anko was on the ground before her, lifeless. Tenten gazed at the corpse before her numbly, momentarily unable to look away from the wide, unblinking eyes that stared blankly up at the night sky. The ribbon securing the scroll together had slipped off and now it lay unfurled over the woman, curling lightly over an arm. The fluid characters spilled along pale parchment in thick streaks of black ink. Anko was – Tsunade had – _

_Tenten stumbled onto her knees. _

The breeze wafting in lifted the dark red curtains and they brushed gently against her bare arms and knees, partially obscuring her from view. Tenten squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her forehead against the metal panes, ragged breaths lightly frosting the glass.

"She betrayed Konoha," Neji continued quietly. "The Hokage-sama had no choice but to kill her."

"But not through me!" Tenten abruptly twisted around and glared furiously at him, the tears finally spilling over and running hot trails down her cheeks. "Not through _me_."

"Who else?" he returned harshly.

"I don't care who else! Neji, she was my _Sensei. _I loved her, looked up to her and Tsunade knew it and yet she still made me _kill_ her."

"_Why did you come back?" Anko grabbed Tenten's wrist anxiously, fingers leaving distinct marks on her skin. They were at the outskirts of the forests, hiding underneath the swaying silhouettes of the enormous trees towering above them. "I thought I told you to go back to Konoha! It's not safe for you here, Tenten! I told you-" _

"_I did. Tsunade-sama sent me out to find you again. Please, Anko. Come back. Please. Orochimaru can't –" _

"_No. Don't," Anko interrupted her hurriedly. "Don't even try to persuade me to go back, Tenten. You're the only one who can understand me right now. He needs me, Tenten! After all these years that he's been gone, he still needs me, can't you see?"_

"_Don't fool yourself!" Tenten pleaded desperately. "He's just taking advantage of you, he knows how you've always–" _

Loved him like a father. Hated him for leaving. Prayed that he would die.

Secretly wanted him to take her in one more time.

"_- You just can't betray Konoha like this!" _

"_I – I don't know, Tenten."_

"_Here, take this." She held out the scroll. "Tsunade-sama gave this to me when she sent me get you. She said this might convince you to change your mind." _

_Anko eyed the scroll suspiciously. "What is it?" _

"_I don't know," Tenten answered truthfully. "But please...take it." _

_Anko reached out._

"You didn't kill her, technically speaking. You just handed her the scroll. You weren't to know that the Hokage-sama had placed a killing jutsu onto it – "

"Shut the fuck up."

"Tenten, stop it-"

"_Shut the fuck up._"

"Fine."

Tenten gazed heatedly at the Hyuuga, eyes bright. She fumbled with her dagger, slipping it back under the corset with trembling fingers. "I'm leaving now."

"...Don't."

She didn't reply, merely standing up on the couch and brushing the crushed velvet from underneath her legs. She took a deep breath and flung the window as far back as it could open. "I hope I'll never see you again," she told him tightly, looking out into darkness of the quiet streets. Anywhere but at him.

"I still love you."

Silence. Tenten continued to stare blindly out the window, lips parting slightly. Her throat constricted painfully and when next she spoke she sounded like a wounded animal, her voice aching and utterly heartbroken, pieces of what she used to be scattered like shrapnel amidst the grief. "You can't. It's not possible."

"I do."

"Seven years, Neji. Not counting the three I was away for before Tsunade..." she trailed off, shook her head briefly. "I was gone for far too long."

"You can always come back."

"I'm a missing-nin."

"We can find a way around that. The Hokage-sama will forgive you."

"It is not forgiveness I am looking for," she told him harshly. "I'm...not a Leaf Shinobi anymore."

"Bullshit. You can't just stop being who you are, Tenten."

"Too late," she muttered scornfully.

"Please, think about it-"

"Goodbye, Neji."


	2. The First Departure

**Chapter 2: The First Departure**

Silk rustled. Neji watched as she slipped away, dark strands of hair curling softly over her eyes, the curve of a flushed cheek tilted away from his gaze. Black lace bled and trailed behind in her wake, their glossy sheen tainted momentarily a warm red in the flickering lamplight.

And then she was gone, and the soft imprint of her form on the velvet was all that was left. The curtains rose and fell gently, lifted by the breeze to drift gently across his line of vision.

He leaned over and shut the windows.

* * *

**_10 years ago – _**

_It was summer and they preferred to train in the cooler evenings, working late into the night._

_The aftermath of their training always meant silence and perhaps a gentle sort of companionship. He'd settle down and loosen his hair, sometimes stretching out his legs to fix his bindings. He never asked her to stay behind but she always waited for him anyway, loitering behind him or lazily picking out her weapons from the ground. Sometimes he'd murmur a few lines about her technique; other times she would hum quietly, slightly off tune. But mostly there was silence, their breaths mingling in the still air as they rested and watched each other. _

_She had gone easy on him today, and he knew why._

_Their training ground was nothing more than an average sized clearing near the border of the forest. The canopy was relatively low here and moonlight managed to filter through the branches, drifting across twisted roots and pebbles, sometimes pooling in shimmering expanses of silver on the dirt ground. The terrain alternated from being terribly pockmarked, scattered with small pieces of shrapnel, to smooth, shallow circles from Neji's kaiten. This was their place, a little piece of Konoha they had claimed for themselves over the years. _

_But tonight - _

_Her face was too pale in the moonlight. She was leaning against a training post, running her fingers lightly over an elbow and up the length of her arm before tugging down nervously at the edge of a gold rimmed sleeve. Neji watched her shadow out of the corner of his eye but stayed put on the ground, seemingly focused on binding his knee, wrapping the white cloth tightly about his palm before threading it up, down, and around in rhythmic turns. He waited. _

"_I'm leaving," she said abruptly, because the apparent normalcy of the situation was fraying her already raw nerves and she had spent too long watching him like this, night after starless night. _

"..._.Leaving?" His voice was calm, face expressionless as usual, but he had put down the roll of bandages and Tenten knew she had his full attention._

"_Tonight. To train with Anko." She twirled a kunai between her fingers, a silly pretense at casualness. _

"_Where?"_

"_I don't know...somewhere far from here. I won't be coming back for a while."_

"_A few years, you mean."_

_Silence hung heavy between them, broken only by the quiet scattering of dry leaves in the wind. Tenten looked pointedly away from him and Neji felt something constrict in his chest painfully, something white and hot and embedded too deeply in him to ignore._

"_Tenten," he began, standing up, trying to take on an exasperated tone but failing miserably. "You-"_

"_I've packed already," she interrupted him hurriedly, as if afraid of what he might say. "I just came here to tell you."_

"_Why?" _

But he knew why.

"_Eh, I guess I just want to see new places...try new things..." she trailed off lamely. _

Liar.

"_You don't have to do this to yourself." _To us.

_Her hands clenched, nails drawing blood. When she looked up to face him finally her eyes were dull. "This is for the best."_

* * *

_This is for the best. _Tenten was running, bare feet slapping against the ground as she stole across the street and slipped into the alleyway behind the main street. _Breathe in, breathe out, don't cry, don't think-_

Screw that. Her mind was a filthy mess of memories and dreams of him, all entangled up like barbed wire tearing bloody gashes in her consciousness. Breathe in, breathe out and the narrow ditch before her was shimmering and blurring. She blinked and wet trails traced down her cheek, but she was off and running again, splashing through the tepid water and sewage even as she reached up and brushed the tears away, roughly. He wasn't suppose to be here, he wasn't supposed to be the one she had to kill –

* * *

_Tenten had always known it was coming. For a while it was enough, walking behind Neji everyday. She thought she had found her place in life at the age of fifteen, following this bright star in her sky. She was his shadow and he was the embodiment of her dreams, her faith._

But she was ambitious, and ambition and faith are different things.

_She'd catch herself sometimes, lecturing Lee for daring to challenge Neji. Or the way she hung reverentially onto his every word. She had tried to brush it off as loyalty - _

But it wasn't. And somewhere along the way, she was losing her dreams in his blinding light.

_When Tsunade chose Sakura to be her student Tenten had smiled sweetly and congratulated the younger girl. On the way home she had torn herself into shreds, her own mocking voice ringing in her mind._

I want to become a great kunoichi. I want, want, want –

_Wanted so much that it became painful to train or fight with Neji, watching his graceful, strong movements and feeling unbearably inadequate. Weak. _

_She went to find Anko._

* * *

The windows slammed shut with an unnerving kind of finality. Neji slumped forwards, resting his shoulders against the glass for a moment before groaning and falling back onto the couch, fingers crumpling the velvet beneath him. Why, why hadn't he run after her?

He didn't know.

Or maybe he did. Tenten was a missing-nin – an enemy of Konoha. Chasing after her, catching her, would have also meant killing her and dragging her body back to Konoha. This was wartime and the political situation was too sensitive, too dangerous – there could have been no mercy, no pardon from the Hokage-sama despite what he had said earlier.

He didn't trust himself enough to be sure he could choose correctly between his duty and his heart.

* * *

_Her pack was light. A little food, water, and a choice selection of her deadliest weapons were all Anko had allowed her to bring. The road out of Konoha stretched before her, cutting directly across small paddy fields before twisting down and around to meander rather aimlessly towards the forest. Tenten stood quietly, watching the huge iron gates swing slowly open. Anko was at her side, a pack even smaller than hers slung casually over one shoulder. She waved to the guards on the watchtower jauntily and jabbed Tenten with a sharp elbow._

"_Ready?"_

_The training grounds were on the other side of the village. Tenten and Neji had parted ways quietly, him towards the Hyuuga compound, her for a quick detour to her apartment to pick up her pack. _

_She nodded. "Yes." _

_One foot forwards. Be brave now, Tenten. Another foot forwards. Then - _

"_Tenten." The voice from behind was quiet but insisting, and perhaps Tenten had already guessed that he would be there. This didn't mean he was any more welcome and she sighed before swinging around to face him. _

"_You shouldn't have come," she stated plainly, glaring half-heartedly at the boy before her. _

_He looked to Anko, silently asking for a few moments with her new apprentice. Anko cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing the two of them closely for a while before nodding briefly and stalking forwards through the gates._

"_Catch up with me later." A casual wave and she disappeared into the dark, footsteps gradually fading into silence. _

_Neji grabbed Tenten by the wrist. The stone walls that bordered the village loomed tall and imposing above them as he dragged her deeper into their shadow, hands sliding up her arms to rest possessively on her shoulders. She said nothing but looked blankly at him, letting her pack drop to the ground at their feet._

"_You're...already strong." His words were awkward and his voice dry, cracked. "You don't have to do this to yourself." His grip on her shoulders tightened, his breathing was accelerating, he was close to shaking her and_ _fuck this, he just had to make her stay._

_She shook her head and tilted her head to the right, trying to smile, but the look in her eyes was hard. He stared at her for a moment, wondering why she was being so cruel – then realized that this was called following your dreams, that sometimes love (or something like it) _had_ to wait. His gaze dropped downwards and he wondered vaguely why his hands were shaking._

_Tenten waited for a few moments before gently disengaging herself from his hold. Neji stopped her, unable to give her up without one last try. _

_He leaned down and kissed her, clutching at her like she was slipping between his fingers (she _was_). She closed her eyes and her palm came up to rest on his cheek, thumb gently brushing over the corner of his eye. When they broke apart her eyes were bright. _

_"Stay," he breathed into her ear, fingertips gently brushing against her temples. "Please."_

_And then she pushed him away, picked up her pack and walked on. (Because kisses in the dark are just not enough)._

* * *

He lay on the couch for nearly an hour, eyes flickering across the ceiling, down to the window, back up again.

He had to find the kunoichi spy. Retrieve her body if Tenten had killed her. Report back to the Hokage-sama and wait for her orders. He knew all this, but all this time only one thought had rung clearly in his mind. Here, amidst the fading warmth and faint, lingering scent of incense and chrysanthemums, of Tenten:

_I want her back._


	3. Light

**Chapter 3: Light**

The sky was an intense blue, flecked with the barest smudges of clouds that drifted lazily over the Hokage tower. It was near noon, sunlight glancing off the lacquered ceramic tiles on the roof, briefly illuminating their earthy, terracotta colour in a shimmering white haze. The last traces of moisture from the previous weeks of rain were finally evaporating from the walls, leaving streaks of residue and dust clinging to the peculiar combination of brick and bamboo in the heat.

It was a beautiful day: hot, humid, but the glorious sunshine was muted in the shaded windows of the Hokage's office on the top floor of the tower. The office was cool and dark, the bare, clean lines of the scant pieces of furniture drenched in shadow, air dusty and still between the odd trinkets that were littered across the room. Tsunade leaned back in her customary seat by the desk, figure a sharp silhouette emblazoned against the window despite the faintness of the light. Her eyes were closed, elegantly tapered fingers lightly resting against her temples. When she spoke her voice was low, quiet, but faintly dangerous. "You didn't follow her."

The man by the door shifted, moving from the shadows into a small square of light before her desk. "I couldn't."

Abruptly her eyes snapped open and she stared at the Hyuuga, one corner of her generous red mouth lifted in a sneer. "Couldn't? _Couldn't? _Anbu - a Hyuuga prodigy no less - unable to track down a missing-nin?"

"It would have attracted too much attention. I could not risk alerting Orochimaru."

"Neji." Tsunade snapped her fingers impatiently. "Quit playing dumb. Orochimaru evidently _was_ alerted, or he wouldn't have _sent her after you to begin with_."

Neji frowned, hands fisting behind his back as he looked away from her accusing gaze. "She... did not know I was the operative who was to meet Miyake Akio."

"How does that justify anything?" Tsunade hissed at him, leaning forwards to rest her elbows on the desk. "You know your duty well enough, Neji. You _knew_ you had to follow her. Kill her, if the situation demanded. She should be here in front of me, right now!"

"I..." Neji began, but he didn't have no explanation, no defence, and so he closed his mouth again, eyes still kept on the ground. Pride meant nothing right now; looking at his Hokage would have meant making a choice he had managed to avoid until now.

Tsunade watched him in frustrated silence, fingers clenched, nails digging into her palms. Of _course_ she knew why he had let her go; secretly Tsunade hurt for them, her own losses reverberating in their pain. She, too, had been left behind once... ...But this was wartime, and she had come too close to losing her best shinobi to what – love? What these kids thought was love? She remembered Tenten. A bright girl, ambitious, brilliant with weapons. Tsunade supposed that it was partly her own fault that she had turned traitor– she had misjudged the girl's affection for Anko, had been too cruel perhaps.

"I'm going to have to send a team after her," she informed him briskly, taking a sheet of note paper and jotting down names. "Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba. Yamanaka Ino." She glanced up at the Hyuuga coldly. "Hopefully they'll do a better job than you did. You've disappointed me, Neji. You know how low on shinobi I'm at right now."

"You're sending Nara after her?" Neji abruptly looked up, eyes betraying his anger and shock despite the otherwise emotionless set of his face. "To retrieve her? Or to kill her?"

Tsunade met his gaze firmly. "To kill."

"Is there no chance of a reprieve?"

"No."

"Why?" Neji demanded harshly, ignoring the fact that he was completely overstepping the boundaries of status and position. "You _knew_ her, Tsunade-sama, she served under you. Why can't you-"

"Because she is a missing-nin, and by Konohan law she is to be punished accordingly! She murdered a Konoha kunoichi and she would have murdered _you!"_ Tsunade exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration, but Neji only shook his head.

"Tsunade-sama, please reconsider. Tenten is not a traitor at heart. She can be convinced to return. " Neji's clipped, professional tone was growing increasingly agitated.

"_No." _

"Then send me."

Tsunade started. "What?"

Neji rested both hands on her desk, leaning down to face his Hokage. "Send me instead to go after Tenten."

"You?" She frowned.

"Only me."

"Impossible,"she snapped at him. "You know I can't let you go by yourself. She is to be _killed_, Neji. You can't save her anymore."

"I know."

"What makes you think I will trust you with her?" Tsunade continued angrily, long blonde trails of hair shaking loose from her ponytail. "You've already let her escape once. You might let her go another time. Besides, as the best shinobi at my current disposal, you have many other more important missions waiting for you to- "

"Please, Tsunade-sama," Neji insisted quietly. "Let me go."

Tsunade glared at him. This time Neji returned it defiantly, traces of the infamous Hyuuga pride surfacing from the silvery depths: pride and something more, something hard and unrelenting and cold.

She knew she would let him go. Call it retribution, call it sympathy or empathy - she owed Tenten this, at least. Tsunade sighed, her entire frame sagging a little as if under the weight of all the dead grief and pressure. "If I send you, will you –"

"Kill her?" Neji finished the question for her smoothly. "... ...Yes."

* * *

"You tricked me!" A fuuma shuriken spun violently past the silver-haired man, barely missing his ear before ricocheting off the scattered boulders behind him. The intense sunlight bearing down on them transformed the metal into a blinding, hot streak of white. Kabuto smiled thinly, calmly taking off his glasses and wiping them against the bottom of his shirt.

"Trick you? Now whatever could have made you think that?"

"Don't fuck around with me! You _knew_ he was going to be there!" Tenten accused him heatedly.

They were standing in the low, grassy plains on the outskirts of Kyotamura, one of the small shanty towns that bordered the West of Tea Country. The midday sun beat down mercilessly upon them, harsh light reflecting painfully off every surface until Tenten had to squint, eyes stinging and blurring with tears. The day was stiflingly hot, cooled only by the slight breeze sifting through the long grass. Low lying plains stretched to the horizon in every direction, littered with the occasional scattering of boulders and the gnarled stump of a long dead tree; the sky was an enormous expanse of white-blue above them. Tenten had run through the night, hurtling through bustling streets and solitary alleyways to make her way out of Kyotamura, knowing fully well that Orochimaru's subordinate would be waiting for her here.

"And what if I did?" Kabuto retorted coolly, sliding the thin frames back over the bridge of his nose. "I clearly stated that your mission would include the killing of two Konoha shinobi, did I not?"

Tenten watched him furiously, chest heaving as she barely restrained herself from launching another volley of steel at the unruffled man before her. "Yes, but -"

"You have failed, Tenten," Kabuto cut her off patronizingly. "I had expected more from you."

"Why_ him?_ You...you _know_ that I – I -" Tenten stuttered, stumbling over her words agitatedly. "I just – I can't kill him. You know that. Not him."

"Why not?" Kabuto's smiled widened, showing a glimpse of even white teeth. "I understand he used to be a...comrade...of yours, but since you have turned your back on Konoha, I don't see why you should have any qualms about killing him."

"I can't. I won't."

"What about Anko? Don't you wish for her to be revived?" Kabuto raised an eyebrow, taunting.

Tenten stiffened. "Perhaps she is better left dead," she muttered bitterly. "I wish for her revival, yes...but not like this."

"You've already killed one kunoichi. Might as well kill the Hyuuga. Just him - and then Orochimaru-sama will revive her."

"No. I've changed my mind. I won't do it anymore," Tenten told him half-heartedly, turning away. Accepting the offer from Orochimaru had been wrong from the start. She could still stop now, run away again, go back to taking private missions here and there.

"What makes you think Orochimaru will let you go this easily?" Kabuto's tone had suddenly taken on a commanding, dangerous quality. Tenten did not bother looking back.

"He can kill me if you want. Hell, _you_ can kill me. Or you can try to," she muttered. "I don't care."

"Oh, we won't hurt you. Of course we won't." Now she could even_ hear_ the smirk in his voice; she stiffened, suddenly, truly afraid for the first time during the meeting. Kabuto continued. "In fact, Orochimaru will revive Anko whether or not you kill the Hyuuga."

"What?" she snapped nervously, twisting back to glare at him with an awkward jerk of her hips, heels digging into the soft earth. "What are you talking about?"

"Well." Kabuto was smiling again, the soft, almost gentle slant of his lips a stark contrast to the ice in his voice. "Ever since our dear Sasuke was taken away from us, Orochimaru-sama has been desperately searching for a new vessel, as you may well know. Unfortunately –" he tilted his head, his glasses catching and reflecting the sunlight so brightly his eyes were hidden from view. " – there were no suitable bodies around for his use, and he has had to make do with a string of rather weak containers for the last few years." A significant pause. "It's been two and a half years since he entered his most recent vessel."

The hidden implications in his words hit Tenten so forcefully she nearly bent double with shock. "No. _No. Y_ou can't mean –"

"Orochimaru-sama is planning to revive Anko and use her body, yes. I knew you'd understand. Clever girl."

"He can't do that!" she cried out, horrified.

"Why not?" Kabuto shrugged. "Gender is not an important factor in the making of a good vessel, Tenten. Anko was a strong shinobi. She will do for a good while."

"No, he can't. I won't let him," Tenten told him raggedly. Her blood pounded in her veins, each pulse sending hot, searing flashes of pain through her body. Despite her words, however, she knew there was nothing she could do. She had no idea where Orochimaru was keeping Anko's corpse and there would be no way to find it in time.

Kabuto merely smirked. "Alright."

"...Alright?" Tenten echoed hollowly.

"Orochimaru-sama will revive Anko - but take another vessel - _if_ you agree to assassinate Hyuuga Neji."

Tenten suddenly felt weak on her knees. She was lost in a sea of unbearable light with choices, choices, too many choices looming ahead and threatening to overwhelm her. "Why me?" she asked weakly, almost pleadingly. "Why Neji?"

"It's simply strategic to rid Tsunade of her most powerful fighter. The easiest way to do _that_, logically, would be through you – his vulnerability," Kabuto told her matter-of-factly, as if he was stating the obvious. Tenten recoiled, horrified.

"I can't."

"Then Orochimaru takes Anko." Kabuto's voice hardened. "Think carefully now, Tenten. You are no longer a kunoichi of Konoha. Why should you remain loyal to Tsunade, after all that she has done to betray _you?"_

"But it's Neji..."

"Oh, please. Don't tell me you still dream about - _young love_? _Romance?_" Kabuto sneered, taking on a sickly sweet tone. "How can you bear to be so weak, Tenten? Either you kill the Hyuuga, or Anko –"

"Stop!" Tenten slammed her palms against her ears, refusing to listen any longer. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was choking, pressure building hard and sharp at the back of her throat. "Just...stop. I'll do it. Tell Orochimaru I'll do it."

Then she fled, a lone figure running through a haze of blinding light.


	4. Ghosts

**Chapter 4: Ghosts**

Tenten had always naturally been a fierce, hot blooded girl; time passed, seasons changed and she had grown into a fierce, hot blooded woman.

It wasn't that she had a weak mind – far from it. Yet Tenten was a woman of instinct, of impulse, governed by the quickening pace of the blood burning in her veins and it showed in nearly everything she did – in the way the way her fingers deftly played with razor sharp steel in the heat of battle, the way she would launch herself spinning into the air, swirling scrolls fluttering gloriously by her side– the way she loved her precious people - violently, but with a subtle undercurrent of tenderness hidden behind a somewhat gruff exterior.

Tenten was aware of her nature and had sought to control it. Years with Neji had taught her the invaluableness of reining in her emotions, of detaching herself temporarily from the raging sentiments that would surge across her mind like flashes of fire, when her raw nerves burned and adrenaline coursed through her body. Mind over heart, always, Neji had told her once. Tenten had nodded solemnly, determined to be the cold, dedicated shinobi Neji was. Mind over heart, because she was going to be an incredible kunoichi, and because Neji said so.

That had all changed, naturally, when Tenten found herself suddenly tugged by the wrist into the arms of the scowling Hyuuga, moments after she had barely escaped being stabbed through by an enemy-nin on a particularly dangerous mission sometime after the Chuunin exams. They had successfully completed their assigned assassination and had been on their way back to Konoha, speeding through the dense forest, when they were ambushed; not a serious problem usually, but it was darkening already and Tenten had misjudged the skills of one of the younger nin. Ignoring Neji's instructions to stay close by his side, she had broken away from the main battle to fight one on one with him, only to find herself almost instantly overpowered...

_The nin was by then sprawled bloodied and dying at the edge of her line of vision – but that didn't matter at all, Tenten decided, because at that moment Neji was holding her a little too tightly, arms wrapped around her shoulders and his cheek burning and hot against her own. _

"_Idiot girl," he muttered darkly into her ear, breath lightly tickling the nape of her neck. Tenten was surprised at how worried he sounded and how she could feel his heart beating, hard, an erratic rhythm against her chest. "You could have died." _

"_I'm sorry, Neji," she apologized hesitantly, still thrown off by their sudden proximity. The remaining sunlight slanted through the treetops, dappling them in a soft, golden hue. She watched his shoulders rise and fall, noting the lean planes of his back and resisting the urge to run her fingers over the gentle dip of his spine. _

"_That's not good enough." His voice was harsh, angry, and Tenten's eyes widened when his arms tightened around her, drawing her even closer. "You were foolish to risk yourself that way. You should have called for my help sooner – if I hadn't been able to reach you in time, what would have happened then?" _

_She did not – could not – answer; he held her against him for a long, breathless moment and Tenten could have sworn that he was shaking if she hadn't known better. Neji never trembled. Neji was never afraid._

_Unexpectedly, a faint, low mumble, half muffled against her hair: "I can't lose you." _

_Tenten started in his arms. "What?" _

"..._..Nothing." Abruptly he stepped away from her, leaving her disappointingly cold. Tenten stared after him as he turned around, stalking across the remnants of the earlier battle. _

"_Neji?" she ventured tentatively, heart pounding in her chest. _

_He paused, standing stiffly amidst the blood and shattered metal. Tenten bit her lip. Perhaps she had merely imagined it...she should have known better than to expect anything so sentimental from him. He had been angry at her, was angry at her even now. Then- _

"_Tenten...don't leave me again. Ever," he spoke up quietly, keeping his back to her stunned figure. "Promise me." _

_Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. There was a long silence, the air so thick and dry with tension it almost seemed tangible, a crackling void between them. _

Neji...

_Then she smiled, stepping forwards to slip her hand into his, and her heart ached a little when his fingers curled gently around her own. "I promise." _

It seemed like her whole life had been a struggle between her nature and what circumstance forced her to be. She had begun pursuing her dream to be a great kunoichi with hot-blooded passion and enthusiasm; that had been hidden under a cooler exterior growing up with Neji, had been tempered learning the rules of the shinobi, though she supposed she had never really _lost_ that recklessness in her spirit. Loving Neji and being loved in return had broken that façade for a while; even running away, even agreeing to kill two Leaf shinobi in exchange for Anko's revival – those had all be acts of impulse, of her heart. But now it was no longer enough.

Now she had to kill the man she loved (because yes, she knew that somehow she was still in love with Hyuuga Neji, no matter how much it hurt to even _think_ about him). Anko could _not_ be used by Orochimaru as a vessel, ever.

Tenten could sense the irony in her decision. Choosing Anko over Neji, too, had been an act governed by her heart. But all these years of her self-imposed exile from Konoha had been unbearably lonely, with the only thing keeping Tenten from dragging herself back to face Tsunade being her belief that Anko should not have been killed, that Tsunade had effectively destroyed all that she had believed in, all that she had loved about Shinobi. Honour, justice, truth - all gone. Anko was a ghost to her now, but a ghost she was willing to stay with if that meant these past seven years of utter and complete hell were justified. Living for a false purpose...was worse than hell. It meant losing yourself, and Tenten was lost enough as it was to even consider abandoning her sole anchor to the world.

It was a matter of protecting herself, in a way - though in protecting herself, her faith, she now had to abandon her very nature.

_...I guess it's still mind over heart, then._

_Forgive me, Neji._

* * *

Tenten was nearing the gates to the small town of Isako, one of those dubious little settlements sprawled right on the border between Leaf and Rock. It had endured a continual tug-of-war between the two countries before both sides realized that there really wasn't much _there_ to fight over, the town being a small wreck of old, crumbling buildings from a bygone era. Despite its derelict state, however, there was a relatively high population, thus there were monthly patrols from Leaf and Rock (conveniently timed to _just_ miss each other, so that both sides could convince themselves that they were the ones in control).

Tenten could see the bright, gaudily lit gates in the rapidly nearing distance; when she squinted she could make out the bustling crowds behind them, the streets still cheerfully busy despite it being already quite late into the night. She wondered if they were celebrating a festival. After traveling for three days straight she was exhausted, ready to drop to the ground in fatigue; a festival would work well in her favour, allowing her to slip more easily into the town with the relaxed security about the perimeters.

She was right – half an hour later she was stumbling tiredly through the gates, rusty iron swinging freely on its hinges. Security had been lax, indeed – the lone guard left assigned to the gates had managed to get hold of some sake and was snoring against the perimeter walls, keys dangling from a pocket.

The night was alive with bright lights, brilliant flashes of gold and red streaking between the crowds as children ran laughing with their paper lanterns. The din was nearly unbearable with stall owners shouting loudly to advertise their goods, boisterous laughter ringing continually in the chill air and the excited squeals of young girls with their dates; the town was in a flurry of excitement, a pretty whirl of intense colours and snapshots of civilian life. Tenten glanced around her half-heartedly, trying hard to ignore the faint pang in her heart as she reluctantly remembered past festivals in Konoha, times when she had been happy with those she loved close by. Fists clenching unconsciously by her side, she made her way through the throng, searching for a place to stay overnight.

She found the inn near the edge of town, stuck inconspicuously between an empty, abandoned warehouse and a shabby restaurant. She walked in casually, a mere traveler in town for the festivities. The owner of the inn barely noticed her, handing her a set of keys and gesturing vaguely for her to go up the stairs.

"Up there. Third room on the left."

The stairway was narrow, twisted in a rickety spiral and kept in what seemed to be a perpetual state of darkness. On one stretch of the wall, amidst the peeling plaster, glum looking individuals stared out from a long row of wanted posters. Tenten paused, setting her pack lightly on the floor and running her gaze over each of the faces.

She had chosen this town for its proximity to Konoha, without being too far into the country to be caught by Leaf hunter-nin. Neji, she supposed, would probably have returned to Konoha to report to Tsunade.

Now she just had to lure him back to her.

Tenten lifted up her pack and proceeded up the stairs, the wanted posters crumpled into her hand. That night she lay on her bed, eyes closed, listening to the fading sound of laughter outside the window.

* * *

By evening another two days later, Isako was in an uproar. All seven of their wanted had been found, a pile of corpses in the middle of the town square.

Tenten watched the frightened citizens running through the streets from her window, the Leaf patrol troops hurrying amongst the crowds. Hunting down and killing the criminals had been an easy job; she had killed more in a day during her stint as a hired mercenary these past few years. These had been mere amateurs terrorizing the hapless little town.

She turned back to the weapons spread out on the floor of her room, cold metal gleaming in the dull light of the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

She had set the bait, the signal. Now all she could do was wait here, alone in this dusty room, until Neji came to her. Tenten pulled down the blinds with a smooth flick of her wrist and turned back to polish her blades.

When he came, she would be ready.


	5. Shinobi

**Chapter 5: Shinobi**

"She's made her move." Shikamaru leaned back in his chair, the black leather creasing into the familiar outline of his ANBU jacket. It was early in the morning and the semi-darkness of the spacious room emphasized his sharp features; dark shadows ringed his eyes, the little light there was gleaming briefly over his gaunt cheeks and the overnight stubble on his chin. The years as Head of Intelligence _and _ANBU captain had taken their toll on him and he looked weary, even thinner than he used to be. He flicked excess ash from his cigarette casually into the bin at his feet, exhaling a faint breath of smoke before tapping the map with the tip of his pen. "Here."

Neji bent over the faded scroll, watching intently as Shikamaru proceeded to draw a thick black line across the marked territory of Tea country.

"We've managed to link a whole string of past unsolved cases to her, now that we know approximately where she has been for the last few years," Shikamaru told him quietly. "The murder of the Tenkechi Lord, in the North of Tea country. The kidnapping of the three sons from the Matriarch of the Hebeki clan to the West. The burning of the family shrine near Tawasaki - and so on. Her fighting style has largely remained the same, but her execution and performance has improved greatly – so much so that we were unable to recognize her patterns or any traces of her when shinobi were sent to investigate. From the little that we know, she had been drifting slowly southwards, taking on jobs as a private mercenary until she came...let's see now...around here." He circled the town of Kyotamura. "There, presumably, she came into contact with Orochimaru or his men."

"It might not have been Orochimaru who ordered her to assassinate Miyake Akio and I," Neji pointed out, frowning, and Shikamaru rubbed his temples thoughtfully.

"While we cannot rule out the possibility that she had been hired to kill off Leaf shinobi by other organizations or individuals, considering the present situation – Orochimaru about to attack Konoha, the whole country on the verge of war – and considering just who the targets were – Miyake was posted at the brothel frequented by Orochimaru's men, remember? - it's most likely that it _was _him, or at least one of his subordinates," he explained, before picking up the pen again and continuing with his briefing. "So, she got to Kyotamura and met you. From what you've told me of your encounter, she had not expected you to be one of her targets." Shikamaru glanced at Neji, who nodded. "And you are sure it was not an act? To pull you in, somehow?"

Neji closed his eyes briefly, considering the notion. When he opened them again there was no trace of doubt in his pale stare. "No."

Shikamaru nodded, accepting his judgment without comment. "Alright. Well...recently, she has moved _here_."

Another streak across the map, and he pointed to another small town, this time on the border of Rock and Leaf. "She's taken the long route around Rock to get to Isako, presumably to stay away from our hunter-nin, and now..." Here he stopped, suddenly a little hesitant. Neji watched him impatiently.

"Well?"

"She's waiting for you."

A short, surprised pause. Neji's hands fisted underneath the table but he kept his tone tightly controlled, low and level. "How do you know?"

"Yesterday a messenger came in from the town, reporting that seven of the town's most wanted had been found dead, all in the town square - in the space of two days, no less. Now, who do you think is capable of doing _that?_"

"It could have been any other mercenary." Neji shook his head slightly, but his mind was already whirling with the implications of his words. Seven bodies. _Seven years, Tenten. Seven fucking years - _

"Not one of this caliber, no. Also, an inn keeper reported that a stranger with brown hair and eyes had checked in to his establishment three days ago. It was Tenten, I'm sure. My guess is that the killings are a signal for you to find her."

Neji nodded and stood up, a tense, dark figure in the shadowy confines of the Intelligence headquarters. "Thank you."

Shikamaru eyed him carefully from his chair, hard black eyes glancing over the stiff Hyuuga. He had not been surprised when word came out that Neji was going to personally hunt down and execute Tenten, though he wondered whether the Hyuuga would be able to complete his task. He remembered Tenten and how they she and Neji had been nearly inseparable – for a while – and he wet his lips unsurely. "You know, Hyuuga. Are you sure you want to –"

"I'll be ready to leave by eight."

Shikamaru blinked, sighed, flicked his cigarette into the bin. "You'll be there by late afternoon, then. It's not far from Konoha."

Neji nodded again and swept out of the room.

* * *

The Hokage was waiting for him at the gates. Neji narrowed his eyes when he saw the tell tale blonde hair, the lazy, yet subtly dangerous slouch of the woman leaning against the perimeter walls. Tsunade refused to wear the Hokage robes but her very presence alone was enough to convince anyone of her superior status.

"Tsunade-sama." Neji bowed briefly, dark hair slipping over his shoulders.

"So you're off now, are you?" Tsunade was gazing out through the iron wrought gates, watching a pair of swallows as they circled gracefully against the clear blue sky. Neji nodded anyway.

"Yes."

A long, drawn out pause. He was impatient to get going but stood at attention, figure erect and defiant. His pack was swung over a shoulder; the edges of his thin cotton shift fluttered in the light wind. Suddenly she turned to him, directing her piercing gaze onto his face.

"Remember where your loyalties lie, Hyuuga Neji."

"I will." He bowed again, but Tsunade seemed to be unsatisfied.

"As Leaf shinobi, your duty is to follow my orders until I die or a new Hokage is elected. Remember that. I will expect nothing less from you."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

She eyed him keenly for a moment before sighing softly, brushing stray strands away from her face. "Hurry back, Neji. Orochimaru is moving his forces closer again. I've decided to send Team Seven out against him."

After his return nine years ago Sasuke had been put under house arrest for nearly a year. Only the combined efforts of Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi had persuaded Tsunade to allow Sasuke to move freely around the village, occasionally taking on C or D class missions. Sasuke was still one of the most powerful shinobi of the village, but he had been severely injured during his escape from Orochimaru; that had healed quickly enough, but in the meantime Tsunade had placed a seal on him that limited his range of jutsu, forcing him to fight with a mere fraction of his former power.

Her decision to let Sasuke go on such a delicate mission was an indication of just how urgent the situation had become.

"You have released the seal on the Uchiha."

"I have, yes. He will need all his fighting capacity to destroy Orochimaru."

"Hn."

"Without Team 7 guarding the village, and with you gone on this mission...Konoha is left too vulnerable for my liking. You will complete the ...execution," Tsunade told him quietly, wincing slightly at the word, "And return immediately."

"Yes, Tsunade -sama."

* * *

A long, magnificent range of mountains skirted the Leaf side of Isako. Despite the steadily drying climate - what with its proximity to Rock country - during the summer the forests sprawled luxuriously over these mountains were a wet, thriving stretch of lush green. Covered in a wild tangle of vegetation, a wide plateau nestled snugly between the central peaks of the range before dipping gently towards the town, tapering into flat ground at the Eastern perimeter walls. A soft, delicate mist hung suspended between each valley and slope, a white shroud spun in the air like glistening spider silk, at times hiding and revealing glimpses of dark foliage and the frothy trickle of a distant waterfall.

A roughly beaten track ran directly through the mountains and over the plateau before following the gentle curve of its journey downwards towards Isako. Today the mist crept low on the ground and it was from this white, damp haze that Neji appeared, treading softly on the dirt path, a lone figure in the wilderness. He was at the very tip of the plateau; below him the land stretched on in a gentle incline. Despite the mist, from his vantage point he could faintly make out the awkward, ugly outlines of the small town, countless multicoloured rooftops glimmering in the distance.

He paused, wondering briefly under which one Tenten currently resided. Perhaps she would be waiting for him at the gates. Perhaps not. Neji had spent the entire journey wondering what her intentions were, why she wanted him to come to her after that display back at the brothel where she had made it blatantly clear that she did _not_ want to see him again. Was she planning to finish her job and kill him? Or was she repenting, calling him to her so he could escort her back to Konoha?

...No. Neji closed his eyes. He was only making it more difficult for himself. If Tenten meant to come back, she wouldn't have killed those seven men. Would she? They were vagabonds, outlaws. It could have been a gesture of goodwill. He groaned, slamming a fist into a nearby tree. It didn't matter anyway; she was to be executed. He knew why he had volunteered for the task. On the spur of the moment he had came the closest he could to begging, unable to face the idea of Tenten being killed by any other man; if he was the one, he could at least grant her a quick, painless death. Right?

But there was something more, some other reason buried in the depths of his heart, a tight, burning core that made him thirst for the sight of her again; it kept him awake and hurting at night, remembering the way she had left him behind - because he still loved her, damn it, what he had told her that night was true, he still loved her far too much. And now he was to murder her. Execute, kill, these words were all just dressed up versions of the ultimate truth – he was about to murder the woman he loved.

Was he?

... ...Yes. Neji knew unconditionally that he was ultimately shinobi of Konoha first, man second. Both of them had chosen a higher calling which presided above all others, including love. Tenten had chosen Anko. Neji had chosen duty.

It was going to have to be enough.

He arrived at the foot of the Eastern walls within an hour. Earlier on he had decided not to enter the town through the gates - he could not risk being seen, by Tenten or by the civilians of Isako. The town guard force was small; the length of the perimeter walls were left unmanned, with security concentrated on either end of the town. He had considered scaling the walls, but they were simply too high. That left the northern gateway at the other end of the town, where he knew a small river flowing into Isako created a slim opening. That waterway would be guarded and manned, but there it would be easier for him to slip through unnoticed.

He was currently near the southern end of Isako. The afternoon sun was already waning, the shadows cast by the wall lengthening rapidly, creeping further along the stretch of wild grass that enclosed the town. He would have to hurry if he wanted to slip inside with enough time to find Tenten before nightfall. The walls were made of a bizarre mishmash of brick, bamboo and wood – anything the original founders of Isako had managed to find, really, recently patched up in some areas with concrete. Neji began making his way quickly northwards, keeping inside their shadow; he traced his fingers absent-mindedly along the rough, mismatched surface as he ran, preoccupied with too many thoughts of Tenten, of the past and the possible future.

A sudden glimmer of white, hot metal; half a second later a kunai was embedded less than three feet from his foot.

_Fuck. _

Neji started, leaping away just in time to avoid another weapon flung down from above. The dagger dug into the moist earth, buried to its hilt and he grit his teeth, Byakugan activating immediately even as he jerked his head up; he was momentarily blinded by the sunlight, blinked, and looked again. A small silhouette was crouched atop the wall directly above him.

"Tenten?" he called out, voice thick and hoarse, but she was already falling down, down, plummeting towards him, blades poised and flashing in the sunlight.


	6. Faith

**A big thank you to bloomingcosmo for help with the techniques. **

**--**

**Chapter 6: Faith **

She had waited for him, dangling her legs over the side of the perimeter walls like a little girl. With her dark locks back in their customary buns and the wind gently blowing loose strands over her eyes, she had resembled an innocent child out enjoying the last few rays of sunshine on a pleasant evening, arms stretched out behind her on the dusty wood.

Only she was a woman, not a child, and the twin scythes gripped tightly between her fingers and the poisoned senbon secured into her hair told of danger and bloodshed, of screaming metal and lifeless bodies like rag dolls ripped apart and torn at the seams.

Suddenly Neji was there below her, a familiar pale figure, the ghost from her past. She had picked herself up as he began running along the perimeter, allowing herself to watch his long hair whip behind him, dark against the trailing white cloth of his loose garments; she had stepped off the edge, taking a few quick, controlled paces down the side of the wall to gather speed before letting herself leap freely into the air, and then she was falling and falling (it seemed like she was always falling, had always been falling), arms crossed over her chest, the sleek, curved blades of her scythes pointing inwards because it was much easier to tear someone apart that way and -

* * *

Neji threw his pack onto the ground as Tenten dropped down on him, leaping up lightly; a foot connected with the wall and he pushed himself away, hard. Tenten flew past him, unfolding her arms a second too late – steel arced outwards, cleaving apart the earth. She shuddered to a stop, heels digging into the ground and throwing out dust into the air, and then she was off again, jerking up, eyes flashing, flinging herself towards the surprised Hyuuga.

"Tenten!"

He had no time to assess what was really happening but instinct kicked in and he pulled back, arms coming up to block the onslaught of metal. She swung one scythe down, aiming straight for his chest; he ducked down and to the side, reaching up and grasping onto her elbow. A sharp, short tug and he had twisted her onto the ground, wincing briefly in pain when the razor-sharp tip of a scythe nipped against his hip. She automatically scrambled back onto her feet, crouched low on the ground, but he had already moved away; she was surprised and slightly angered that he hadn't taken advantage of her momentary weakness and attacked – _idiot, why isn't he fighting back? Why? _- but she shoved the thought away quickly, slipping out two scrolls from side pouches on her trousers and slamming them onto the ground.

"Sougufujin Heji!" The scrolls immediately whipped open, rolling out on the ground in a crisscrossed pattern; Neji found himself trapped between the two and tensed, one leg sliding out underneath him to prepare for his defense. Tenten narrowed her eyes, hands coming together swiftly in a series of seals that he could not recognize (and oh God when had she become this _fast) – _a split second later a barrage of knives ripped up from the scrolls, two thick lines of gleaming steel speeding upwards –

Neji spun, sleeves falling back to his elbows as his arms came up - "Hakkesho Kaiten!" – the weapons were flung away, the air momentarily alive in a mass of quivering, glowing steel before they landed with a subdued clatter on the earth. When Neji regained his balance she was missing from her earlier spot before him; he turned around, searching the area with his Byakugan. "Tenten! Stop fighting, you can't win me like this!"

"Have you forgotten that I know where your blind spot is, Neji?"

A sudden volley of senbon showered down on him from above and he pulled out a kunai, deflecting all but one. The needle embedded itself along his spine; he could feel muscle tearing, a bright pinprick of pain at the base of his neck.

"No, I haven't," he muttered quietly. "How could I?"

She was behind him, crouched low amidst the tall stalks of grass, watching his every move. Sighing, he tugged out the senbon with a sharp, brutal flick of the wrist. Back on the plateau, as he was overlooking the town, he had come to a decision - one that honoured both his duty and his love for a traitor of Konoha.

"Don't fight me, Tenten."

She froze at his words; for a moment it felt as if her heart had stopped beating, fingers curling involuntarily and digging painfully into her palms because she was remembering again, sepia-tinted scenes replaying through her mind and tugging painfully at her heart.

_The small diner near the main gateway of Tsuchimura was still bustling with customers despite the late hour. Tenten and Anko had chosen a relatively dark corner to take their meal, having traveled the entire day by foot to reach the town before the nightly lockdown. _

"_Where did you get this scar?" Tenten frowned, tracing a thin, pale vein which ran like stitching down the length of Anko's right arm. The skin nearby was mottled, threaded with pale scar tissue. Anko glanced down carelessly, more concerned with finishing her dinner than on inspecting her old wound. _

"_Hmmm?" _

"_This." She poked the scar experimentally. "I'm surprised your arm wasn't cleaved in two." _

"_It was." Her sensei grinned wickedly at her, chewing on one end of her chopsticks. "Hurt like a bitch, too. I think I must've gotten Kakashi pretty damn pissed for him to have deigned to hurt me that bad." _

"_Kakashi-sensei?" Tenten stared at her, surprised. "You fought _him_? But I thought ...well..."_

"_You thought he's much too good for some little kunoichi like me, didn't you?" Anko smirked, turning her attention back to her udon. "Well, he's pretty decent, I'll give him that. Whipped me quite a bit when I challenged him to spar, but well –"_

"_You challenged him?" Tenten gaped again, unable to picture the petite woman in front of her fighting someone as legendary as the great Copy-nin of Konoha. _

"_Uh huh." Anko nodded proudly. "Nagged him for a week before he snapped and whipped out his kunai. Cocky little bastard, he was going on and on about how I wasn't good enough to fight him." _

"_Well, he beat you up pretty badly, didn't he?" Tenten observed dryly. To her surprise Anko growled, slamming down her chopsticks onto the table before spinning around to face her charge properly. _

"_That's not the point." _

"_...no?" Tenten tilted her head skeptically. Anko glared at her, tossing dark ringlets off her forehead. _

"_Of course not. Silly girl. I see now I have a lot of teaching to do yet." _

_She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Anko-sensei." _

"_The point is," Anko continued in a low voice, lips quirking up into a fierce smirk as she leaned closer towards Tenten. "- never – and I mean _never – _let anyone tell you that you're not good enough. Sure, Kakashi-bastard beat me into the ground, but you should see some of the pretty scars I painted on _him_. I fought to the best I could, and for me... that's enough." _

_Tenten blinked, a surprised smile spreading over her face. "Alright." _

"You cocky sonnofabitch!" she snarled, withdrawing another scroll from a small pouch slung around her waist; this one was much smaller and contained only one kanji character, three thin strokes of ink black against the parchment as she slapped it against her knee. "Do you think I'm not good enough for you, Hyuuga Neji?" she demanded furiously, the scroll instantly disappearing in a thick cloud of smoke to be replaced by a long, broad sword. The blade slipped smoothly across her bindings as she hefted it up in both hands, the tip glinting in the light.

"No, of course I don't think that," Neji growled, but she was already rushing at him, sword raised high above her head. "I didn't mean it that way, Tenten! Stop this _now_–"

"You're here to kill me, aren't you?" she accused him angrily, bringing the blade in a sweeping arc towards his shoulders; Neji flipped back to avoid the blow but she had already anticipated his move, twisting around deftly and thrusting the sword down towards his knees.

"Yes." His voice was tight as he blocked the blow, jerking his foot up and kicking away the edge of the blade as he spun back, still concentrating on defending himself against the raging kunoichi. "But not to fight you. I am here to offer you an honourable death-"

Tenten wasn't listening. "Then _fight _me, damnit! Fight me! Don't fucking go easy on me! _I am good enough for you._" Neji slipped out a short dagger from his leg bindings and she slashed out again, repeatedly, forcing him to parry with her.

"I _never_ thought you weren't good enough to fight me!" Neji bit out, frustrated. Why, why didn't she understand? He didn't want to fight her because he fucking loved her, not because he deemed her unworthy! He remembered a time when she understood him completely, when they never had to say word to make their feelings known. Now there was only betrayal, hurt and this angry, angry void between them, this frustration festering and burning like acid into their very cores.

"Liar," Tenten hissed, but her voice was breaking and all she could think of were her old dreams that now came back to mock her in all her once-naive sincerity.

_I want to become a great kunoichi. Want, want want – _

She was no longer a kunoichi of the Leaf but she would be a strong fighter anyway, for Anko's sake. For her own sake. "_Fight me!" _she hissed as she thrust forwards, backing him closer and closer to the wall.

Neji growled and suddenly she found his palms flattened against her abdomen – "Hakke Kusho!" – a searing burst of Chakra exploded into her stomach, flinging her backwards to sprawl painfully onto the ground, air completely knocked out of her chest.

"Enough, Tenten!" He straightened slowly, wretchedly watching her struggle to pick herself up again. He didn't want to fight her. He wanted to ask her _why_, why she was doing this, why they had to end this way. He needed to make her see that she was _wrong, _that she should never have left him, before he could fulfill his duty and his mission was complete.

Her lip was bleeding and she hastily wiped it away with the back of her gloves, inadvertently smearing blood across her left cheek. "No," she muttered stubbornly, her gaze lifting to meet his own.

The dusk was in full bloom. Slanting rays burned across their faces, casting them half in shadow, half in glowing, warm hues. They stared at each other across the mangled stretch of grass and earth for what seemed like an eternity, him leaning back against the wall, her still half on the ground, both wondering what had gone wrong in their lives to lead to this mess.

Neji was the first to break the silence. "Why are you trying to kill me? Because Orochimaru ordered you to?" he asked her, voice low and strained. "Do you really hate Konoha that much?...Do you really hate _me?_"

Tenten shook her head. No, no, he was getting it all wrong, she didn't hate him at all, all she had ever wanted was to be _strong_ like him but then everything had gone wrong and -

"Anko is dead. I know she meant a lot to you, but..." He searched her face. "...How can you choose a dead woman over all of us? Couldn't you have let the past rest?"

"That's rich, coming from you," Tenten spat out spitefully, biting her tongue immediately afterwards. She hadn't meant to be so harsh – she saw the way he winced, the way his expression instantly tightened. Then she shook herself, expelling her breath in a soft hiss – why the fuck was she even caring about him _now,_ when she was so close to saving Anko?

"I've learned to forgive."

"And I cannot."

"So you betrayed Konoha and joined Orochimaru? You joined Sound just to seek revenge?"

"I never _joined _Sound," Tenten hissed angrily, cheeks flushing. "I merely made a bargain with Orochimaru – two lives for one. Hell, I never even met the man – I've only ever talked with Kabuto and taken orders through him. A mistake, perhaps, but I ..." She paused, suddenly unsure of what she could say in defense against his accusations. Never meant to hurt anybody? Never meant to kill Leaf nin? Bullshit. She had known very well that she would be assassinating Konohan shinobi when she first entered the bargain, just not...him. Did she regret agreeing to Orochimaru's terms? The original bargain was a mistake, maybe, but she sure as hell did not regret sacrificing her all to keep Anko's body safe now.

Neji saw the momentary flicker of doubt slip across her face and he pressed on, determined to make her fully realize that she had been wrong these past seven years of her defection. "A mistake, you're admitting it yourself. You're a Leaf kunoichi, Tenten...you will always be one. You _should not_ be doing this, and you know it."

"No, Neji," she sighed, picking herself wearily off the ground. Her sword was broken from the impact of her fall; she reached behind her shoulders, drawing out a final scroll from her scabbard. "Orochimaru...has Anko's body."

"What?" He started, surprised.

"If I don't kill you, he's going to revive her body and take it as a vessel," she told him simply, flinging the scroll wide open and letting the parchment whip loosely in the breeze. "And I cannot allow that to happen."

The remaining traces of light had now fled to the West. The warm glow intensified briefly before gradually receding over the mountains, the shadow cast by the wall lengthening and drenching them both in the cool darkness. Beyond the thick barricade of wood and bamboo the faint noises of Isako nightlife could be heard, ringing in the hollow quiet that surrounded them.

"I've made my choice," she added softly. Neji felt his breath hitch in his throat; he knew then that she would not change her mind and that no amount of arguing would persuade her to repent.

"I didn't know-"

"Fight me, Neji."

"I can't," his voice cracked, but she looked at him and he could see the final plea in her eyes.

_Don't deny me what I have put my faith in. _

Because she believed in Anko, all that she had taught her, and all that she had lived for; because she knew she had to kill Neji, but not before proving her own worth.

He sighed, slowly pushing himself off the wall. His eyes never left hers, feet sliding apart as he settled himself into a ready stance. "... ...As you wish."


	7. Honour

**Chapter 7: Honour **

A low, whispered breath - _"Sougushou Fumadou,"_ – and Tenten skimmed her fingers lightly over the two large kanji characters painted onto the scrolls, fingertips glowing briefly as chakra infused into the ink. Neji narrowed his eyes. This appeared to be another attacks that he had never seen; evidently she had developed a whole new range of techniques since they parted.

The scroll disappeared and she flipped back, a thick, heavy coil of metal chains wrapped around her left arm, a massive dai shuriken clutched tightly in her right hand. The weapon was enormous, its diameter dwarfing the entire length of her arm; polished steel gleamed a dark green in a blurred reflection of the grass, each of the four sharply filed blades slicing finely through the air as she twisted it around, one of the deadly protrusions held firmly in her gloved grip.

"Ready?" She flung the word at him carelessly and was in a flurry of movement before he could respond. Nimble fingers threaded the chain through the large hole at the center of the dai shuriken, joining the two loose ends together in both hands; she swung the chain once, twice, thrice around and above her head, the dai shuriken slung heavily outwards in wide circles. "Let's begin!"

A final swing to gain maximum momentum, and then she released one end of the chain; the iron buckles rippled, snapped and flung loose into the air, the dai shuriken propelled into a curved orbit towards the Hyuuga. Neji frowned; the weapon was deadly but large, bulky and easily avoided. He merely threw himself forwards onto the ground in a tense crouch, feeling it slice through the air an inch above his head, spinning furiously as it swung high, high into the sky in a wide arc. Something at the back of his mind was setting off warning signals – it was simply too easy to evade, there must be something else he was missing – but his attention was immediately forced back to Tenten as she cracked the chain, whipping it low on the ground.

He drew in a quick breath, deciding to let the thick metal cord wrap around his left calf; it would bruise later but the injury was worth gaining an advantage over his opponent. Tenten was tugging him in, hoping to trip him onto the ground, but she had not taken into account his superior strength. Neji responded by pulling his leg in a powerful backwards kick, digging his heel back deep into the ground – Tenten was jerked forwards, momentarily losing her balance – he reached for the chain instantly and pulled, hard, using her own weapon against her. Tenten was towed across the grass, unable to unwind the chain from around her arm until she was already too close. She grasped at the earth, searching for purchase – nothing – but her hand clamped around a long, thin branch on the ground, probably fallen from the mishmash that made up the walls.

"Hakke Rokujuyon Sho!" Neji launched into his attack, arms thrusting out in a flurry of motion towards her tenketsu points. His speed had improved over the years, his movement more elegant and efficient; she only had her stick to defend her in the heat of the moment, unable to reach for her blades.

But Tenten was an expert in weaponry, and even a stick turned deadly in her hands. She spun the wood between her knuckles in an impressive show of agility, deftly blocking some of the blows towards the more crucial areas and forcing Neji to shift back and pause in between strikes before resuming his offensive. Tenten was gradually losing her ability to move as more and more tenketsu points were sealed despite her efforts; in a last ditch effort to save herself she snapped the stick in two with her free hand, thrusting one into the hollow of his throat, and the second against the underside of his wrist, slamming his arm against his thigh.

Neji lurched back, dazed and blinded briefly by the pain; if Tenten had thrust harder he would probably have blacked out from the sudden pressure to his pulse points. She herself was in no better a condition. Her left arm hung limply by her side, the main tenketsu points at her shoulder, elbow and wrist having been sealed off. Her torso was twisted in an unnatural position, a tenketsu point at the side of her abdomen having also been closed.

She dropped to her knees, panting with exertion, wiping the perspiration off her forehead before reaching once more for her weapons pouch. Her entire body was throbbing; she could feel the effect of the chakra buildup within the system and she knew she would be unable to fight without opening up her tenketsu points.

"Are you ready to give up?" Neji was bent over, hands on his knees, allowing himself to rest while he watched her slow, tortured movement. "You're a strong fighter, Tenten. You've proved yourself; it's the end now, you have to stop."

Tenten ignored him. In her hand she clutched a scattering of hari, the long, fine needles protruding between her knuckles.

Neji frowned. "What are you doing?"

She gritted her teeth and flicked her wrist; the hari flew from her fingers, embedding themselves into each blocked tenketsu point. The pain was immense – her face twisted and she let out a low hiss, blood running in thin trickles down her arm as the needles slid with sickening ease into muscle. Neji looked on, stunned, as she bent her head, hiding her face. She pulled her limp arm against her chest, folding it in until her palm could enclose all three hari. A faint glowing near her hand told him that she was forcing chakra through the needles into her blocked tenketsu points.

"That won't work," he hissed, but she wasn't listening.

A sudden, fierce pulse of white surrounded her hand – Tenten growled, driving a final burst of chakra into the needles - her shoulder twitched, once, twice, and she slowly flexed her fingers. Letting out a heavy, relieved sigh, she drew out the needles carefully. Neji could see the chakra moving freely once again in her arm. No one had ever attempted to open sealed tenketsu points by themselves and succeeded in his entire experience with Jyuuken; Tenten was a medical first, but she had compromised her fighting capabilities. Her precision had meant no major arteries had been opened but her skin was now slippery with blood, the small chakra explosions that had unblocked the sealed tenketsu points had damaged surrounding tissue and she was visibly weakened even as she struggled up, rising unsteadily onto her feet.

"Let's continue." Her voice was faint, but threaded through with her characteristic stubborn determination. She tilted her head up, eyes narrowing as she watched the sky intently for a short moment. Neji followed her gaze, but there was nothing except the dark shadows of the clouds lumbering heavily across the sky and the pale sliver of an early moon, shimmering faintly against the blackness of the night.

When he looked down Tenten was running towards him, sliding a long, thin katana from its scabbard by her waist. Her movement was slower than before, hindered by the sealed tenketsu point at her waist. He twisted to the side and brought his elbow up, jabbing sharply into the bottom of her ribs; Tenten flipped over his shoulder, hand slapping an exploding note onto the ground before vaulting away again. The earth exploded in a short, intense burst of light – Neji leaped high into the air, momentarily hidden by the smoke – and Tenten suddenly appeared by his side, blade slicing into his back. He grabbed her wounded shoulder and flipped her around to face him, ignoring the wince that flashed across her features. They crashed back down onto the broken ground, flying apart instantly; a barrage of kunai was flung at Neji, aimed in a straight line down the entire length of his body. He took a kunai to the hip, the rest deflected with a brief chakra infused spin and his own kunai.

Neji lunged forwards, crouching down suddenly and kicking upwards into her chin, sending her flying back into the wall. She flipped up, using chakra to cling vertically onto a long strip of bamboo. He saw her reach down to her weapons pouch, no doubt to launch another mass of steel into the air – he twisted once more, anticipating her move – "Hakkesho Kaiten!" – felt countless weapons bounce harmlessly off the whirlwind of his chakra – finished the move, and dropped elegantly back onto the ground.

Tenten was gone.

She was not within the fifty feet radius of his Byakugan. Neji narrowed his eyes, turning on his heels to search the area slowly, cautiously, forced to rely on his normal vision.

Ten seconds passed, then twenty, thirty. Still no sign of Tenten. Neji was growing increasingly wary; all his instinct and experience told him that he was in immediate danger, but she was nowhere to be found, gone without a trace...

And then she appeared, slicing through the air, flying straight at him like an arrow and twice as fast. Neji felt her entering his perception field and his neck snapped back, eyes widening at the sight of her hurtling towards him from above, falling at an impossibly steep angle with the katana clutched before her chest – and one foot firmly implanted on the inside rim of the spinning dai shuriken she had flung at him at the very beginning of the fight. At that moment she was a goddess of war, an ethereal, bleeding creature of steel and blade.

Tenten could feel her hair ribbons coming undone as she fell (again, she was falling, but she knew this was going to be the last time), dark tresses slipping out and rippling behind her; she was cold and couldn't hear a thing, the sharp, stinging wind whipping all sound away from her ears. _Can I do this? Will I do this? _She was so close to the end now.

When Neji had been distracted by his Kaiten Tenten had immediately taken the opportunity to take the last step in her plan. Concentrating chakra into her legs, she had leaped high, high into the air, soaring above the powerful, spinning whirl of chakra; at the pinnacle of her jump she had tugged at the delicate chakra strings, thin and faint enough to escape detection by the Byakugan, that had allowed her to guide the spinning dai shuriken on its aerial journey; she had deftly manipulated the weapon as it arced through the air to boomerang sharply back towards her figure as she spun, suspended in mid-air like an acrobat. From then on it had only been a matter of guiding the sai shuriken on its final, fatal trajectory. A light flick of both wrists, bringing the spinning center swinging beneath her, and then she had reached down with one foot, lightly tipping the inner rim of the spinning disc to redirect its path with her body weight, aiming it straight down towards the Hyuuga. Now she was falling with the dai shuriken at her feet, her ankle caught in the spinning center and her katana held out before her chest, and she was to kill Neji now, right?

Now was not the time to doubt herself, she knew, but as the ground flew up to meet her and Neji's pale figure drew closer and closer she finally realized just how _scared_ she was, how absolutely, ridiculously terrified.

_Can I do this? ...I love him, Anko..._

_They were lying shoulder to shoulder on the grass, watching the stars glimmer faintly in the velvet darkness of the night sky. The first day of her training with Anko had been spent putting as great a distance between themselves and Konoha as possible, and now they were both exhausted, their backpacks flung carelessly between the thick roots of a nearby tree. Neither had spoken much during their journey, their silence punctured only by cheerful (and often lewd) remarks made by Anko. _

"_Tenten, are you still awake?" she spoke up softly, twisting her head to peer at her new charge. _

"_Mmmhmm," Tenten murmured noncommittally, keeping her eyes on a particularly bright, faintly blue pinprick of light near the North. It reminded her somehow of Neji; everything today had seemed to remind her of him, actually, though she supposed it was only because she was not used to going even a day without seeing him, be it merely a glimpse of a quiet figure on the street or by their training grounds. _

"_You know, that boy who came to see you off….what'sisname? The Hyuuga..." Anko trailed off. "Naji? Noji, was it?"_

"_Hyuuga Neji." Tenten smiled hesitantly, amused by Anko's butchering of her teammate's name but unsure of where this was leading to._

"_Yes, him. Are you two close?" _

"_Well...he's my teammate," she answered guardedly. _

"_Which is why you were kissing him. I see." _

_Tenten started, blushing as she glanced at her sensei. "Um...well...that was not really what I had...er...well..." She flushed deeper when Anko let a wide, wicked grin spread slowly over her face. "How did you know, anyway? I thought you had gone on without me..."_

"_Nope. I made the guards let me onto the guard tower and watched. Just in case, you understand."_

"_Anko-sensei!" Tenten cried out, scandalized. "How could you – I mean –"_

"_He hadn't forced himself on you, had he? Because if he did, by the end of your training with me, I swear you'll be able to kick his ass from here to Sunagakure as payback," Anko told her simply. Tenten could feel her cheeks burning up._

"_No, no, he hadn't..." Oh lord. Please, let the questions stop _now.

"_Do you love him?"_

"_What?" Really, every question that came out of this woman's mouth seemed to throw her off balance. "Neji? No, of course not. I mean...yes. No. I don't know..."_

_Anko looked like she was enjoying making her young charge squirm. "Is that a yes, or a no?"_

_Tenten averted her eyes. "Um...well..."_

"_Hmm?"_

"_I think...yes. I do. I think."_

"_Ah." Anko's voice was surprisingly soft. Tenten blinked, surprised, and looked over at her sensei. The grin had gone, replaced with a gentle, even solemn expression; her brows were furrowed slightly._

"_Anko sensei?"_

"_You're going to miss him, aren't you?" _

"_Mmmm...yea, I will," she admitted, a hand reaching up and threading fingers through her loosened hair. Anko didn't respond immediately and she was worried for a second that she disapproved, opening her mouth to add that yes, even though she would miss Neji, she would still concentrate on her training so please don't worry Anko-sensei, but the other woman beat her to it._

"_Get used to it."_

"_Huh?" Tenten started slightly. Where had _that_ come from?_

"_People leave each other all the time. It's either you leaving him or him leaving you," Anko told her, uncharacteristically serious. "You might as well get used to it now, to spare yourself some useless heartache later on. Relationships often mean nothing but pain, you know."_

"..._...I...I see."_

_Anko suddenly seemed to catch herself, shaking her head a little before showing Tenten a bright, rather forced smirk. "Of course, when you go back you'll be free to marry him and make babies and such, so I guess a little parting here and there won't matter much, neh?"_

"_Anko-sensei!"_

_The woman's smirk widened as she visibly relaxed. "Oh, you darling little girl. Goodnight, then." At that, she turned around, adjusting her cloak around her shoulders and promptly dropping off to sleep. Tenten stared at her back for a while, wondering why Anko had suddenly seemed so bitter, so devastatingly unhappy. _

Her sensei had been right, after all. She had left Konoha, had left Neji, and now Anko had left _her._ All of her relationships had ended in pain and unnecessary heartache, and Tenten was sick of it.

Neji was right before her, pale eyes widened in shock. They both knew it was too late for him to begin another Kaiten, too late to avoid the last, killing blow. Tenten raised the katana high above her.

_Goodbye, Neji._

The dai shuriken carved into his chest; Tenten slashed down, her blade slicing cleanly across his neck.

Neji disappeared into a thick cloud of smoke.

... ..._A bunshin?_

Tenten tumbled to the ground, her knees jarring painfully against the dai shuriken as it buried itself into the earth. Neji must've switched after his Kaiten, while she was concentrating on manipulating her chakra strings; she herself must've been too preoccupied to notice anything different, to see any dark shadows pressed up against the wall or crouched in the grass, wherever he had hidden himself……..

And then suddenly it was over.

A hand reached over her shoulder, gently disengaging the katana from her grip. Tenten started, turning around, but it was too late and she could feel the cold metal against her neck. Neji bent down behind her, placing one hand on her good shoulder as he leaned against her back, mouth tracing slowly up her neck to her ear.

"Was it worth it, Tenten?" _Was Anko worth it? Was leaving Konoha worth it? ...Was giving us away worth it?_

Tenten did not – could not – answer, only shivering at the feel of his breath, hot against her skin. Neji stood up, sighing, letting the katana fall from her neck. Surprised that she was still alive, Tenten finally turned around and gazed up at the man before her.

It was only when she faced him properly, when their gazes met once again and she could see his tired, worn out expression that the reality of what she had done finally hit her, sending her dizzyingly off balance. She had just proved that she was willing to murder Neji. There was nowhere she could run to, no moral high ground she could defend her actions from – the katana in his hand and the dai shuriken splitting the earth beside them was glaring proof of what she had chosen, and she had not chosen to let Neji live, no matter whatever motivation she had; if he had not replaced himself with the bunshin she would have had his death on her hands by now. Neji, too, seemed quietly shocked; perhaps he had never really truly believed that Tenten would kill him- perhaps some small part of him had desperately hoped that she would be unable to deliver the final, killing blow if she was ever given the chance - and the sight of her driving her blade into his replica had been a rude awakening, leaving him abruptly ringing hollow and empty.

The truth was out, visible and palpable between them; there was no more need for arguments, for defensive explanations. Regret was not an option.

"I'm not sorry, Neji."

He said nothing, merely offered her his hand. She took it hesitatingly and he pulled her up onto her feet until they were standing face to face, barely an inch apart. His hand remained wrapped around her own, drawing her even closer until her chin was on his chest, eyes wide and unblinking.

_And so we end._

Without a word, she tilted her head back and he leaned down, pressing a hot, hard kiss onto her lips. She reached up, fingertips slowly tracing his jawline.

_I still love you._

...I know.

Tenten pulled back first, looking down at the object he had gently slid between her fingers. One edge of the katana was dark red, crusted with dried blood from Neji's back. She played with the blade, twisting the well worn handle around against her palm. Dazed, she noted vaguely that Neji's hair was loose, dark ink spilling over his shoulders, a shock of black against the white of his shirt.

"Tenten."

She blinked, glancing up at him, and he couldn't breathe for a brief, painful moment because her eyes were just as expressive as he remembered them to be. "I said earlier on that I was here to offer you an honourable death." His grip tightened around her hand. "...Do you understand?"

He closed her thumb over the handle of the katana, slowly guiding her hand up until the blade nipped lightly into the soft skin at her throat. Then he stepped back, hand dropping to his side.

"Are you asking me to kill myself?" Her voice was dull, flat, but her eyes were filled with an immeasurable sadness, a dead grief that stained dark the normally light brown irises.

He took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Anko..."

"I will find her. There will be a rescue operation; Team 7 has already been dispatched to eliminate Orochimaru," he reassured her, voice rough and cracking. It was all he could do for her now, these promises. "Do this for me. For yourself."

"...I understand."


	8. Of Fate and Fools

**Chapter 8: Of Fate and Fools**

"I understand," she murmured. "But... ...I will not do it."

Neji stiffened when she let the katana drop away from her neck. His mouth was dry, his throat constricting. "Tenten...do you really wish for me to...if you will not..."

_Don't make me do this. _

"I know," she said softly, running a finger lightly over the bloodied edge of the blade. "But Neji...you will not be a coward because of me, will you?"

"A coward? Do you not understand, Tenten, I-"

"Your duty is to execute me before returning to Konoha," Tenten pressed on determinedly. "And yet you are afraid of killing me."

"You are entirely mistaken. I do not wish to kill you, certainly – that I will not deny. But I am not _afraid_."

"Yes, you are. You do not want my blood on your hands and so you asked me to kill myself. "

"That is not true," Neji growled. "I wanted you to die _honourably _–"

"I don't give a damn about your brand of _honour_, Hyuuga Neji!" she hissed, trying and failing to find that slow burning anger that had fueled her to fight, because to be angry was easier than to be hurt and Tenten had had enough of hurt. "You and all of Konoha know _nothing_ of what honour is! Tsunade destroyed the integrity of all Leaf Shinobi when she murdered Anko and now you have nothing left, you hear me? Don't you _dare_ pretend you're on a moral high ground you fucking _bastard!"_

"You would rather I kill you personally?" Neji took a step closer, fists clenching.

"You may try." Tenten lifted her chin up stubbornly but her lower lip was trembling. "I will never end my own life, Neji. Not when I have something to protect. To do so would be to go against my own faith, you should know that perfectly."

"And this is your final decision?"

"I will not be a coward and take the easy way out. And neither should you," she told him simply.

Neji glared down at her but found himself irrationally wanting to brush the dirty strands of hair from her forehead; she was beautiful with the smears of sweat and blood on her cheek, her bangs falling into her eyes and framing her flushed face.

"I do not wish to fight again," he sighed tiredly.

Tenten tensed when he reached up, gently cupping her cheek against his palm. "Don't do this, Neji," she begged, whispering. "Don't. Please." But she leaned into his touch instinctively, blinking rapidly as she willed the tears not to come. _No. Please stop, no I can't you can't we can't go on like this– _

Her breath caught when he traced his thumb over her lips, still stained and swollen from his kiss.

_- Stop you know I love you but love will die and I cannot so please stop please –_

He tilted her face up; a sudden, scalding wetness on her cheeks told her that the tears had spilled over.

_Enough. _

Her eyes snapped open; Neji jerked back immediately at the cold, drowned look in her eyes but she was already dipping down, elbow bringing the katana back for momentum and her spare hand slipping into her weapons pouch.

"Tenten?"

He shifted automatically into a fighting stance. She stabbed two kunai into his left knee. Neji buckled, fell; Tenten whimpered and thrust the katana through his abdomen, the steel sliding slickly through flesh and into earth, pinning him onto the ground.

A moment of stunned silence, and then there was ragged breathing and the slow agony of watching crimson bloom into the white of his shirt.

"Fuck," she whispered, kneeling down next to him. Neji tried to lift himself off the ground but the pain was immense, searing sparks crackling through his nerves and erupting into the gaping hole in his side. He arched his head back and the small movement caused the katana to dig further into his body _(breathe in, breathe out, and oh God maybe he was really going to die this time), _steel biting deeper into his hipbone.

"_Fuck,_" she hissed again, fingers fumbling down the hilt of the katana, along the steel and onto the raw, bleeding mess below his rib. The blade had torn messily into muscle; blood spurted out in measured heartbeats.

"I thought you would have had aimed for my heart," Neji muttered thickly, reaching his hand over his chest and gripping tightly onto the hilt.

_I couldn't do it. _"I tried," she said faintly. "I...I missed."

A half chuckle, half groan escaped from his lips before he turned his head away, burying his face into his sleeve as he tried to tug the katana from his body.

He failed. Tenten watched, terrified, as the blood continued to spill out and soak into the earth. Her fingers curled into the wet fabric at the wound and she was shocked when Neji grunted and grabbed her wrist.

"What are you doing?" she whimpered, trying to wrench herself free but he held on tight, knuckles draining white against her flushed skin. Neji lifted his head with a strained expression.

"Proving that I am no coward," he told her heavily, suddenly tugging her roughly down; she fell forwards with her palms digging into the drenched earth, his other hand snaking across her chest and resting lightly between her breasts. Tenten gasped quietly when she felt the warmth of his fingers through her bindings. One strong burst of chakra from him and her heart would stop; she knew she should twist herself free, run away and leave him to bleed dry but she remained sprawled next to him, wide eyes never leaving his.

"You're going to die anyway," she said breathlessly. Neji grunted.

"You didn't get anything vital."

"Perhaps I should try again then," she muttered, trying to keep the quaver of fear out of her voice. (She would never let him know that she was afraid for _him_.)

"You won't have that chance." Tenten couldn't help wincing when she felt the abrupt, warning surge of chakra prickling against the underside of her breast. His grip slid up her wrist and tightened near her elbows, his fingers clamping so hard into her skin the thin coating of clotted blood cracked and splintered, fresh rivulets flowing down her arm and onto his; their blood mingled, the heavy, metallic scent pulsating through the air.

"Do it," she gasped, surprising him by leaning into his poised fingers. "Kill me. You're going to die from blood loss sooner or later. I've saved Anko, I have nothing to live for now."

_You used to live for _me.

The thought left him faintly hurting, a familiar dull ache seeping through his body; somewhere at the back of his mind memories unfolded, graying pictures of a girl and her boys emerging from his haunted past, and he said nothing because the truth was that he _was _afraid. (And yet he would never let her know that he was afraid for _her_.)

"What are you waiting for?" Tenten demanded, the beginnings of hysteria making her challenge high pitched and shrill. Silence. She shivered when her fingers gradually stained a deeper shade of red. "Well?"

Nothing.

"Damn you! If you want me to die then do it _now!" _And Tenten was a hot blooded woman after all, and mind over heart had never been an option because you can't fight who you are. You can't _forget_ your heart either when you left it behind seven years ago, and Neji had never given it back. "I'm so sick of this! I've done my part, you can do yours now _can't you hear me?" _

Neji suddenly snarled, releasing his grip on her wrist and throwing her away from him. "Go."

Tenten stared at him wildly. Her wrist throbbed, dark red marks imprinted onto the skin; she rubbed at it absently. "Neji – "

"Now."

Because she was the one mission he was willing to fail.

"What happened to your _duty_ and, and –" Tenten didn't even know why she was fighting him now (though maybe she just wanted to stay by his side before he left forever). "-and don't you believe in your stupid loyalty to Konoha anymore, Neji?"

"Completely," he told her truthfully. "But this isn't about loyalty and you know it."

"So you-"

"Just go, Tenten. We fought. You won. I will die and Anko will live," Neji sighed, feeling his life slowly drain out of him with each passing second. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

_Never. _

Tenten took a step back. Neji turned his head away and deactivated his Byakugan, gazing wearily up into the unfathomable darkness of the night sky. His rough calculations told him that he would probably not last past daybreak without medical treatment. Possibly he could force himself to hang on longer – he was Shinobi, he could conserve his chakra, the blood at his wound was clotting and the bleeding was slowing into a sluggish trickle down his thigh. But there was no reason for him to drag on this agonizing death. The katana was buried too deep into the earth. His current weakened state would never allow him to free himself – unless Tenten helped him, and he knew that would not happen. Help would not come from Isako either– no medic skilled enough to save him resided behind the wall and he doubted anyone would find him in time anyway.

The physical assault on his nerves was ravaging his mind; his vision had begun to blur, his thoughts running into each other until all that he could grasp onto, the final thread that reverberated in his mind was the fact that he could – would - not kill Tenten, and that he was now going to die as payment - the final act of his fealty to Tsunade-sama.

If he could not kill for Konoha he would die for Konoha. (Because he still believed in honour and duty and the comrades currently scattered throughout the Shinobi countries, fighting for their village, but it was _Tenten _he loved and all the faith in the world would never change that).

"Just go," he muttered dully.

Tenten didn't move. He could feel her presence still lingering by his side, could hear her quick, shallow breathing.

"_Tenten,"_ he said more forcefully. "Why are you still here?"

But she wasn't listening. Instead, her gaze was fixed somewhere on the plains that stretched between the plateau and Isako, where tall stalks of wild grass were drenched silver by the moonlight as they undulated quietly in the cool night breeze and the clouds cast shifting shadows across the entire landscape.

Someone was coming.

Her hands clenched by her side; she stared as the faint silhouette grew steadily clearer, sifting through the wild grass in an unswerving line directed straight towards them. A civilian traveling to Isako this time of the night? Not impossible, but Tenten did not doubt that this was Sound nin; it was evident that the person had noticed them despite it being night and the fact that both of them were steeped in the black shadow cast by the perimeter wall– impossible for an ordinary man without chakra enhanced sight or the ability to sense chakra systems. Most likely it was Kabuto, here to check on her end of the bargain. Tenten frowned; the chakra patterns pulsating from the the man's tenketsu points were vaguely familiar, yet there was something twisted about it, some new, opaque layer that obscured the original and prevented her from recognizing who it was.

"Who is it?" Neji demanded weakly, still able to sense the nearing presence but now struggling to distinguish between the shadows that swept across his vision and the darkness that was caused by his gradually failing vision. Tenten narrowed her eyes and stepped over his body, unconsciously sliding into a defensive stance before the fallen Hyuuga.

The figure drew closer, and then she realized that it was not a man after all, but a woman.

_Oh God. Is it - _

"_Anko!" _

Neji jerked his head up when Tenten suddenly let out a piercing, wounded cry and stepped recklessly forwards, a hand clasped over her mouth in shock; he shot out an arm and grabbed her ankle, forcing her to stop.

"Don't – it might not really be her – it's too dangerous," he fumbled almost deliriously, trying to pull her back towards him, but Tenten shook him off impatiently.

"But what if it _is _her?" she choked, suddenly torn between grief and a new, intense hope that burned white and hot in her chest (and a voice in her head was whispering _take care take care_ but she wanted this too much to listen). "What if Orochimaru really revived her? Our bargain - Kabuto promised–"

And then Anko was before her – Tenten was too overwhelmed to wonder how she had managed to cross the distance between them so rapidly - and she was smiling crookedly at her, and Tenten could pick out the scars that ran all the way down her left arm, could recognize that sharp chin, the slanted eyes, the messy, jagged strands of hair that slipped over her forehead and tapered off near prominent cheekbones. (Yet something was tugging at her heart because _Neji_ was dying by her feet and _Neji_ was her sacrifice and – )

She was smaller than she remembered, more haggard. But she was here, alive and tangible.

"Tenten-chan." Anko's smile widened, revealing a pointed canine.

Tenten could only stare at the woman before her. "You're...you..."

"It's not her," Neji interrupted desperately. "It can't be – I'm not dead yet, Tenten, _I'm not dead _and Orochimaru would never..." he trailed off, overcome by a sudden wave of nausea.

Anko arched an eyebrow elegantly. "Really now, Hyuuga. Why all the blood? Are you.. ...dying?" She stepped towards him, gently nudging Tenten out of the way; Tenten started at the contact, shivering. "Perhaps... ...I should help you."

She leaned down and ripped the katana from his body. Neji hissed in pain, head arching back; the wound began to flow freely again, crimson running thick and hot against his skin. "Tenten. _Tenten." _

The tears were flowing freely down her face now. "Stop, Orochimaru. _Stop." _

The very admittance of his name - that this wasn't really Anko, that she had sacrificed Neji and herself in vain, that Neji was now dying and that she had ruined them both for nothing – cost her more than words could ever tell.

"We made a deal. Orochimaru! Fuck it, we made a deal!" Tenten felt sick to the stomach. She stepped forwards, trying to slip in between her dead sensei's body and Neji, but Orochimaru suddenly had the katana to her neck with a smooth flick of the wrist, the bloodied steel biting gently into her skin.

"Kabuto made a deal with you, Tenten-chan. Not me." Strange, how it was Anko's voice that spoke, and yet the very nuances and inflections were foreign to her ears. Now that she had forced herself to get over the barrier of hope that had blinded her momentarily, she could see the little signs that showed what seemed to be Anko was nothing more than a living corpse, a vessel; she could see it in the way Orochimaru held the body, stiffly, the unnatural tilt of Anko's wrist, the arched back – possibly Orochimaru's previous vessel had been taller than Anko and he now had to adjust to the new dimensions of his host – everything, really.

"Kabuto is your subordinate," Tenten bit out, grasping at nothing but desperate to ... ...what? Convince Orochimaru that he had been bad to cheat on a deal? She had been a fool to have accepted it in the first place - but she would never regret choosing faith over love. It had never been a matter of trusting Orochimaru; trust was a luxury only for those with power, and Orochimaru had Anko's body – power enough, in Tenten's case. Orochimaru had abused his power.

As had Tsunade.

It was fate, she decided with a bitter irony. Fate had made a fool out of her.

"Kabuto is dead," Orochimaru told her. "Sasuke-kun killed him yesterday. Luckily he had been keeping me up to date on your whereabouts before Hatake's team found him, or I'd have had much trouble in finding you."

She froze; Orochimaru traced the blade down her neck, circling at her collarbone.

"You are crueler than I had first thought, Tenten-chan. I had expected you to kill Hyuuga Neji for me after that _amazing_ display of loyalty to my poor little Anko-chan – becoming a missing-nin for a dead woman? Impressive indeed. But to kill him like this...leaving him to bleed dry? I thought you had loved him?"

Tenten paled.

"To tell you the truth, I was planning to ask you to join me after this – you would have made a very efficient Sound-nin, I've heard of your work in Tea country – but sadly, you seem to be rather...opposed... to me at the moment."

The blade was pressed into skin, drew blood. Tenten looked Orochimaru squarely in the face, met the gaze that was so painfully familiar and yet not _hers. _

"I will not work with you."

A pause.

"Very well." The katana left her throat. Orochimaru stepped back, let the blade fall to his side. Tenten was too numb to be surprised.

"You will not kill me?" she asked tiredly.

"I have no reason to." He glanced down at Neji; the Hyuuga was teetering on the brink of unconsciousness, the lower half of his body completely drenched in his own blood. "It's quite strange," he added almost conversationally. "But I have no wish to, either."

"Guilt, perhaps. Though I doubt it." Tenten said dully. Orochimaru's smirk widened.

"Not guilt. Anko."

And Tenten understood. Fushi Tensei was unique in the fact that there would always be a sliver of the host's consciousness and will retained even after a new mindl had been transferred to a body. Anko's bond to Tenten was subtly influencing Orochimaru's subconscious, though Tenten knew that he was perfectly aware of this coercion.

No, he could have killed Tenten unreservedly despite some vague sense of affection for her, especially if he was aware of its source.

"_Not guilt. Anko." _

He had spared her for Anko's sake. Tenten wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation but the fact of the matter was that perhaps even Orochimaru – the traitorous Sannin who had abused Anko, used her, caused her death and now brought her back to life only to use her again – was honouring his past student in his own way.

"Goodbye, Tenten. I thank you for eliminating the strongest shinobi of Konoha." Orochimaru turned away smoothly, throwing the katana onto the ground. Tenten knew that he knew she would not attack him, not when he was in Anko's body. "I trust you will enjoy the last few moments with him alone."

An awkward tensing of Anko's small frame, and then he was gone, yet another shadow streaking across the landscape and into the dark of early morning. Tenten collapsed onto the ground, letting her fingers trail lightly over Neji's now closed eyes. Her gaze landed on the symbol etched into his hitae-ate.

_- I'm not dead yet, Tenten, _I'm not dead -

Orochimaru was wrong. Tenten hadn't aimed for Neji's heart, hadn't killed him instantly not because she was cruel, but because she was selfish. Because she wanted him to stay with her a moment longer. But now that Orochimaru had played his final card and Tenten had irrevocably failed to save Anko's body, she could not bear the thought of having his death on her hands.

She was a coward, too.

"You won't die, Neji," she mumbled through her tears, terrified. He was shivering uncontrollably, going into shock from blood loss. Tenten pulled him into a sitting position gently and held on tight, trying to stop his convulsions; she reached down and sliced away the bloodied material at the bottom of his shirt and retied it securely around his wound to staunch the blood. Orochimaru had made a mistake in leaving before Neji died. He had assumed that even if Tenten tried to help him the injuries would be too grave and that no medic nearby could possibly save him.

But he had forgotten that the best medic-nin in Fire country was only a few hours away, had not taken into account the fact that perhaps Tenten would be willing to risk her life and return to Konoha in the face of possible execution.

Tenten wrapped Neji's arms around her shoulder and hauled him up, a hand going around his back and clenching tightly into his shirt. Soft strands of dark hair fell over his shoulders and trailed over her fingers. Neji didn't have much time left. Daybreak was just around the corner; she had an entire mountain range to cross with him bleeding the whole way.

Tenten ran.

* * *

"Where are we going?"

She kept her gaze straight ahead, concentrating only hauling the dying man in her arms to the one woman who could save him. "Konoha."

She could feel his arms tighten around her shoulders.

"They will kill you."

She didn't answer, and a quiet moment later Neji faded back into the hollow darkness.

* * *

Neji had not regained consciousness by the time she came within five miles of the village. She knew they were being followed as soon as she entered Konohan territory; tell-tale glints of faint morning light reflecting off hitae-ate came from the four Leaf nin tracking her movement above and amongst the tree tops as she sped through the forest. They would not attack while Neji was with her.

She wondered if her old friends were amongst them.

A break in the forest ahead; the light gradually intensified as she drew nearer, the thinning foliage throwing dappled shadows across her face. Four miles to go. Four miles more and Neji would be saved and –

And Tsunade was before her, Shizune and a team of medic nin by her side. Someone must have went ahead, alerted the authorities of her presence. Tenten jerked to a halt, stumbled. Behind her Leaf nin dropped to the ground, weapons drawn and ready: three Jounin and one ANBU.

She didn't care. Tsunade was watching her with an unreadable expression on her face as she stood in the middle of the clearing, hair like spun gold in the soft, white sunlight; Tenten met her gaze squarely. Her tears had dried long ago, leaving pale tracks tracing down her cheeks.

Tenten leaned forwards, gently let Neji slide onto the ground before her. "... ...Save him."


	9. Ashes to the Wind

**Chapter 9: Ashes to the Wind**

Shikamaru walked into the Hokage's office, hands jammed resolutely into his trouser pockets. The door was opened for him by one of the Jounin on guard duty; Shikamaru barely spared him a glance before stalking forward, eyes kept warily on the prisoner kneeling before Tsunade's desk.

As usual, the darkened windows kept the midday sunlight from invading the cool, grey room - the barest traces of white gleamed briefly over dusty photos on the wall, illuminating the stoic expressions of the past Hokages of Konoha as they stared down at the traitor below them. Her hair hung loosely upon her shoulders (they had been pedantic in their search for weapons, had found the senbon tucked discreetly beneath her hair ribbons) and the slight curve of her back betrayed her exhaustion even though her face was impeccably blank, her eyes a glassy brown.

"Good afternoon," Shikamaru greeted her quietly, stepping forwards. The two Jounin assigned to her stepped back politely but their hands were by their weapons pouch, ready to attack at any sign of rebellion in the woman between them.

Tenten looked up to see him settle himself in front of her, slouching too carefully to be natural. She caught the tension etched into his face, the stiff set of his shoulders. "How is he?"

"Tsunade-sama and Shizune are still working on him. They have forbidden entry into the operating rooms," he told her, watching the way she immediately bit her lip, suddenly seeming fragile and small, a dirtied porcelain doll; she still looked surprisingly sweet and vulnerable after all these years, what with her wide eyes, the rosy tint of her cheeks.

"I...I see."

Sighing, Shikamaru squatted down before her, hands clamped onto his knees. Tenten blinked at him dully when his gaze roamed over her face searchingly, as if he was trying to make up his mind about her but didn't know quite what to think.

"They didn't hurt you too much?" he asked her softly. She shook her head. The interrogation team had brought her down to their torture chambers, fully equipped and ready to tear information from her about her involvement with Orochimaru – only to find that she was quite willing to tell them all she knew with minimal persuasion. After all, she had no loyalties to stay true to, no secrets to hide; Tenten didn't care if they branded her a traitor or a murderer because she was both, and really, all that mattered to her was currently lying somewhere in a hospital room, dying or living or – fuck it, she didn't even _know – _

She hadn't realized that she was crying again until Shikamaru suddenly let out a soft hiss of surprise and touched her shoulder gingerly.

"Don't – don't cry," he mumbled awkwardly. The two Shinobi in the room shifted uncomfortably but Shikamaru ignored them, concentrating solely on this half-broken woman before him. Tenten was a traitor, a prisoner of Konoha, but she was also a former comrade and friend. It was a delicate situation he was in, but he could afford to be kind.

"How is Lee?" she asked him thickly, wiping fiercely at her eyes. Shikamaru stiffened, a wooden expression glazing over his features. "Is he still – "

"He's dead,"he told her abruptly, fingers tightening around his knees.

Tenten stared at him, shocked, lips parting in surprise.

"He was killed during an assault mission near Cloud country," he continued heavily. "Ambushed."

"...When?" Tenten asked faintly, a new, devastating grief ripping through her and robbing her of coherent thought.

"Two years ago." Shikamaru rubbed his knuckled over his thigh uncomfortably, gaze flickering from the floor to her stunned expression and back.

Silence. Tenten was too choked up to cry; abruptly she bent over, a hand to her chest, head dipped so low her bangs skimmed over her eyes. She had been away so, so long...

Shikamaru restrained himself from telling her that Lee had died honourably, like a true shinobi, like how he would have liked to go – because it was all pretentious bullshit anyway, and because he knew it was not true. There was nothing glorious in the way Lee had died – his throat slit, restrained by a shinobi of a lesser caliber who could use genjutsu.

Tenten wouldn't care, anyway. Death was death no matter the cause and she had lost too many precious people to believe in any blown up dream of glory and honour.

"And the others?" she managed to whisper, voice cracked and dry.

Shikamaru swallowed. "Ino is doing fine, last time I heard. She's on a reconnaissance mission up North. Sakura's with Sasuke and Naruto. Hinata and the rest of the Hyuuga are staying in Konoha to guard the civilians." He stumbled then, slipping a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it with a slightly shaking hand. "Chouji and Shino are in River country. Kiba...Kiba's dead. Killed during a raid."

Tenten closed her eyes, curling deeper into herself. She had convinced herself that all her links with Konoha had been effectively severed when she left, but the slow burning in her blood and the dull ache in her heart told her that she still cared – on some fundamental level, at her very core, she still _cared. _Konoha was not a home to her anymore but perhaps _these_ people would always be part of who she was.

And now they were dead and possibly dying, scattered across faraway lands like ashes to the wind. She felt sick, bone tired and weary of living when she should have been at the prime of her life.

She had done what she could for Neji. Now there was only one more thing to do before she would allow death to come and claim her. One more, and then she could leave and become nothing, a physical blank upon the face of the earth. She wanted to be just that – _nothing_, not a dirtied, bloodied body scarred with years of suffering.

"After I am executed," she murmured, so softly Shikamaru had to lean forwards to catch her words: "... ...Burn me."

* * *

When Tsunade arrived Shikamaru was gone, having left with a hand pressed gently onto stiff shoulders and a few murmured words of goodbye. He had been sure it would be the last time he would see Tenten, even if she lived.

She froze momentarily at the familiar voice, a mix of simmering rage and repressed longing washing over her and burning at her frayed nerves. Then she uncurled herself from the floor, standing up to face Tsunade as the older woman strode forwards to stand behind her desk. The two guards immediately pressed forwards, unsheathing their katana by their side; Tsunade waved them away grimly.

"Is he –"

"Alive, yes. He has passed the critical stage and will recover quickly," she told Tenten coldly.

"Where?" And suddenly Tenten was hurting again, a fresh wave of pain stinging sharply in the depths of her heart because she had wanted him to live so, so much, and because sometimes relief _can_ hurt. "Where is he?"

"Resting at the hospital. You will not see him."

Tenten said nothing, merely studying this woman before her who had once been her idol before becoming the source of her pain. It had been ten years since she last saw her and she was as beautiful as always.

Suddenly Tsunade turned to the guards and inclined her head briefly, the clipped authority in her voice ringing across the room. "Leave us."

"But Hokage-sama, she-"

"Leave us," she ordered, sending a stern look towards the men. They bowed and exited, closing the door softly behind them. Tenten could sense their chakra patterns slowly fading away down the corridor.

When Tsunade turned back to face her Tenten was still standing completely still, an unreadable expression on her face. A long, drawn out pause, then: "You still blame me for Anko's death, don't you?"

She nodded wordlessly. Tsunade frowned, pursing her lips, but her fingers clenched against the desk and her eyes were stained dark with a weary sadness. "Well, that can't be helped," she sighed, rifling through her papers. "I will not execute you."

"I do not need your mercy," Tenten shot back, surprised.

"It is not mercy," Tsunade replied coolly, the lie slipping easily from her lips. "I'm only doing this for Neji."

Tenten said nothing. This was different from what she had anticipated; she had expected to be condemned to die, had planned to use that to justify a last request.

"You will be escorted out of Konoha back to Isako. From there you may go wherever you wish. Our shinobi will not hurt you unless you infringe upon Konohan territory," Tsunade continued. "If you _do_ come back, you will be captured and killed without question. I suggest you –"

"Fight with me," Tenten suddenly burst out, hands clenched tightly by her side. Tsunade blinked.

"What?"

"Fight with me," Tenten repeated tightly. _This _was what she had to do, whether she lived or died: to fight with the woman who had killed Anko - one last act of revenge. (She hadn't realized it, but she was still just the girl who believed in honour after all, no matter how hard she had tried to convince herself otherwise). It wouldn't matter if she won or if she was killed by Tsunade – what was important to her was the fact that at least she would be fighting again. Passive resistance had never sat well with Tenten.

Tsunade stared at her incredulously. "You'll never win against me."

"I don't care." Tenten stepped up closer to the desk. Tsunade glared at her darkly.

"No."

"For Anko –"

"Anko is _dead_."

Silence.

Then Tenten launched herself onto the desk, grasping tightly onto a shocked Tsunade before throwing them both towards the window; the glass shattered and sunlight burst in, drenching the room in a flood of blinding white, and then the two women were falling and falling, their clothes rippling around them, hair blown loose and trailing past their shoulders as they hurtled down, down -

They hit the ground messily, sending earth and concrete flying into the air; a shocked moment of ragged breathing as they found themselves sprawled across the grassy lawn, and then Tenten was up and dragging Tsunade with her – "You owe this to Anko, Tsunade. You owe this to _me!" - _Tsunade shook herself loose from her grip and flung Tenten away – "You're not gaining anything this way, _think_ about it –" Tenten lunged forwards, resorting to taijutsu without her weapons; she swung a punch at Tsunade desperately but she was too weak, still far too weak from her fight with Neji – she stumbled and was thrown to the ground when Tsunade ripped into her with a chakra infused palm, the blow tearing across her arm to leave an angry red mark scrawled across her skin. Tenten struggled up blindly but Tsunade was already upon her, pinning her to the ground by the wrists.

"Are you out of your mind?" Tsunade asked her roughly. "Forget the past, Tenten! You will never last against me!"

"But Anko –" Tenten struggled in her grasp in vain. "_Anko_-"

"I loved her too," Tsunade hissed, slamming her back onto the ground. Tenten stared up at her, eyes wide. Tsunade's were suspiciously red, her blonde hair swinging loose against her jaw.

"Hokage-sama!" Tenten could hear hurried footsteps; people were rushing towards them for all sides.

"Stay back!" Tsunade abruptly reared her head up like a lioness, shouting the command angrily to the worried shinobi before they could reach them. She turned back to Tenten, fingers tightening around her wrists. "I loved her too," she repeated fiercely, "But I did what I had to do as Hokage of Konoha, and I _will not_ regret my decision!"

Tenten stared up at her, her mind and heart a tangled mess of hurt and hope and grief - grief for Anko, for Neji, for Lee and her former friends and comrades, for herself and suddenly for this woman before her, this scarred, hurting, beautiful woman –

A wetness on her forehead; she blinked, surprised to see a tear tracing down Tsunade's flushed cheeks. Suddenly the woman looked much older, more weary and haggard. This was too much – Tsunade was too much, these feelings were too much, all she wanted was to run away and forget all this hell she had created, run far, far away –

"Leave Konoha, Tenten," Tsunade said tiredly, abruptly releasing her wrists and sitting up. "Forget all of this and start again somewhere new. You're young enough, unlike me."

"Neji..."

"He will live, I promise you. We will take care of him."

"Why are you sparing me?" Tenten whispered, but she knew the answer anyway. Like Orochimaru, Tsunade was letting her live for Anko's sake. The irony burned in her throat but Tsunade was stretching out a hand towards her, an offer to help her up that was, really, an offer of so much more.

_Life goes on_, Tenten thought numbly, and reached up.

* * *

When he woke his world was white. White walls, white sheets, white bandages.

A crisp white note on his bedside table.

"Neji-nii-san." He turned his head to see Hinata sitting at the edge of his bed, her face a mix of worry and relief. "How are you feeling?"

"Tenten," he murmured. "Where is she?"

"Tsunade-sama spared her," Hinata told him gently. "She left Konoha some time ago."

_Thank God. _Neji stared up at the ceiling, fingers curling tightly into the sheets. _Thank God. _

Hinata coughed; he glanced at her enquiringly.

"She left you the note," she told him, gesturing to the small piece of paper. He reached for it, faintly surprised and wary. On it were scrawled four simple words in Tenten's small, messy handwriting.

_I'll see you again._

... ...White, his world was white.

As white as the peace that was slowly, softly, creeping back into his heart.


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_The Chinese legend of Qi Xi tells the tale of a fairy princess who descended from the heavens and married a mortal. The Goddess of Heaven, furious at the match, summoned the princess home before taking out her hairpin and carving a river across the sky to separate the ill fated lovers; you can still see their constellations on a clear night sky, divided by the Milky Way. Fortunately, after seeing their grief and yearning for each other, the Goddess of Heaven took pity on them and allowed them to meet on a bridge over the river – once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month... ... ..._

Neji closed his eyes as he stood in the field, tall stalks of grass a shifting mass of shadows by his feet. In the cold of the early morning the air was crisp, clean; the faint scent of wild chrysanthemums wafted over him momentarily before being borne away by the sharp, stinging wind. Isako was still sleeping, bathed in a thin wash of velvet blue. A peaceful quiet was infused in every nook and cranny inside the small town; where he was standing, on this familiar spot, the only sound was of the wind whistling softly through the grass and up the bamboo shafts that strengthened the walls.

He had asked the Hokage for one day of leave without explaining his intentions, knowing that she could guess easily anyway. Tsunade had merely scrutinized him for a long moment before smirking and granting him his request – a luxury, considering the fact that the war with Sound was still raging as fiercely as ever.

"Tell her to stay away from the Sand-Grass border if she can. We're about to launch a new offensive in that area; I doubt she'll find much business there once the shinobi close in," she had instructed him in a short, clipped tone before dismissing him with a casual flick of her wrist. "Don't forget to bring me back some of those lovely rice cakes they make over there."

A raised eyebrow, a polite bow. "Hn. Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

They had not communicated since her departure from Konoha last year, but Neji did not worry that Tenten would not be there when he went to find her. It was not a difficult task to guess where she would come to meet him – there was really, only one place burned into both their histories that was both significant enough and within the safe boundaries of her exile. The question of _when, _though...

"_Seven years, gone without a trace. Seven fucking years, Tenten."_

That, too, could be answered easily.

_- Seven of the town's most wanted had been found dead -_

No, Neji did not doubt that Tenten would be here today.

"_She's waiting for you."_

And so it was that on the seventh day of the seventh month, Hyuuga Neji stood once more under the shadow of Isako, a hand tracing the scars in the wall that commemorated their fight; each mark carved into the crumbling brick, each puncture and cavity a dusty reminder of Tenten's liberation from her ghosts and the gradual easing of the dull ache in his own heart. He had run through the night to arrive before dawn. A few weak rays of light came from faintly glowing fissures of sky peeping through the heavy blanket of clouds.

A subtle shift in the chakra patterns around him; a quiet hiss and the muted thud of a kunai embedding itself into the loose soil by his feet.

"Neji."

He could not stop the gentle smile that broke across his face when her voice drifted down. Neji opened his eyes and looked heavenwards, gaze softening when he saw the familiar outline of the woman standing atop the wall. Tenten was standing taller, straighter than the last time he had seen her, a hand placed firmly on her hip. Then she stepped off the ledge, plummeting headfirst towards him and suddenly he remembered the way she had fallen the last time they were here, the way she had looked with her blades poised and ready and the hurt that had stained her eyes –

- Only this time she was smiling, arms spread wide open like she was learning how to fly, and her eyes were clear and bright with the certainty that the worst was over - that she was young and still in love, and that even if happily ever after never came for them they would be alright.

* * *

_The second year, Tenten was the one waiting for him, sitting cross legged against the wall. When she stood up there were grass stains on her pants, but she didn't seem to mind as she tiptoed up to kiss him on the cheek._

_The third year, she brought with her three month old twins. That night Neji watched their sons sleep between them on the bed, one hand brushing against their smooth, unblemished foreheads and the other cupping Tenten's cheek._

_"Take them back to Konoha," she told him. "Tell them their mother died on a mission. Anything."_

_Neji understood her reasons but did not miss the look on her face as she looked away, staring at the ceiling with her eyes reddening and moist at the corners. He reached for her hand under the covers. "Thank you."_ I love you.

_The ninth and tenth year, Tenten never came. _

_Neji waited for her both times until dusk came and duty called him back to Konoha._

_The eleventh year, the war ended. Isako was destroyed in the process by a sand tsunami directed by none other than Gaara of the Sand. Tsunade died with an arm through Orochimaru's heart, but not before appointing Uzumaki Naruto as her successor. One of his first acts as Hokage was to absolve the order of exile on Tenten; Neji tried to find her afterwards, searching for half a year across the Shinobi countries. _

_He came back alone, stopping on the way at what remained of Isako. A small length of the Eastern Walls was still standing; Neji stared at the windswept, rugged landscape until darkness descended before walking away._

_He never looked back._

* * *

He had missed her touch; the last time she had held him was a year ago and he had been dying in her arms, barely conscious and bleeding his life away as she dragged him back to Konoha, to Tsunade.

He shivered when deft fingers traced gently over the scar that carved into the side of his waist and tapered into the silver strands of a spider web at his hipbone. Her hands were cold, fingertips dancing lightly over heated skin. He caught her by the wrist and she lifted her gaze to his face.

"Does it still hurt?"

His hair slipped thickly over his shoulders as he leaned down to brush his lips over hers. "When I miss you."

She pulled away. "All the time, then?" she teased softly, but his eyes were serious when he tugged her back to him gently, leaning forwards to kiss her again.

"All the time."

_Fin. _


End file.
